SIDS + Divorce

My baby died just before she was 3 months. I was so scared to become a mom. I got pregnant so soon after I got married that I literally started my new life (married, new apartment, etc.)on "E". Empty. I had no energy and my husband loved to call me lazy. I was failing at being a wife. I was too tired to prove I could keep up a household. I had almost every symptom you could look up. But I got through it. I had my baby and was so excited. I loved her with everything in me. I wanted to be worthy of her love. I felt like I wasn't doing so great and my husband was out of work so he was constantly on my case. I never spent a day alone with her. Everything I did had to be approved by him. next thing I know...she was gone. SIDS came and took my child before I could show her the world. Most women complain their husbands don't help. I get it. But he never let me breath. Now my child died and I'm stuck with just him. We grieve differently. He doesn't want to be around anyone, won't go back to church, doesn't want anyone to come over, won't go to therapy. He hates me but won't divorce me. He calls me lazy, stupid, air head, prude, immature. He says I have no personality. If he's mad at me he has a reason. If I'm mad at him then 'I made it up in my head and I chose to be mad". He told me I don't do my hair right. Basically everything a wife should be I'm not. He yells at me and calls me names. I told him maybe our daughter passing meant we needed to look within ourselves and he took that to mean "tell me everything I'm doing wrong". He tells me how I should grieve. If I'm sad 3 days in a row it's unacceptable. I told him I wanted a divorce and he basically talked me out of it. He said we shouldn't claim a divorce over our marriage now but see how things go. Basically since I want a divorce he now doesn't but just won't say that. He won't admit that he just won't do it because I want one. He also wants another baby. I don't want to get pregnant and we end up divorcing. I admit that I have some improving but I feel like if he hates me that much he should just leave me. He feels he invested in me. I just want to grieve alone. He started a new job and I just went back to work. We could be better apart. I just want to sit alone and miss my baby. I don't want him around. I don't wish bad for him. I just want a new life where I can choose what I want without someone making me feel like dirt. There's so much more emotion and history but this is where I'm at now. I miss my child and my marriage failed. One friend said I shouldn't move to fast and another says I should lean on my husband for support. He claims he knows what I need and that he accepts his flaws. It's all crap. This isn't worth the trouble. My baby was a part of me that made life worth it. What do I have now?