Sick of this.

You ever just sit there..feeling like absolute hell..and have no idea how to get rid of the feeling... and just get so fucking angry? I hate it. So it's Canada Day tomorrow. Day off for everyone. And im sitting here thinking about what my ex could be doing. Havent heard from her in a few day's...I guess she had other people to talk too so there was no point in contacting me...I like it better this way regardless. On another topic vent...I went down to see my dog the other day...she wanted to show me one of her guitar friend's videos..Ok cool. We'll i noticed on my Facebook she took the old video's of me and her father playing guitar together down...and she has some new ones up of this fucking dude. The ironic thing............He was playing and singing two song's extremly close to me and her...Simple Man by Skynerd...and I Remember you by Skid Row...it's funny the night she told me this was recorded....I was sitting here in this chair geting drunk, and playing I remember you on Loop for about 3 hours...thinking of her. While she ...yah whatever I cant think about it anymore, I dont want too, but thanks to this journal i can bitch about it all i want.  This is such a coward-ish thing to do to someone, deal with all the emotions of leaving months before you tell someone your leaving, while you still have SOMEONE there. I think its bullshit, and i made a promise i would never put anyone in this situation. Fucking Bullshit. I really am sick of feeling this way, im sick of the hurt ya know? It's sad...it really is that someone could do this to someone. Total blindside, they get what they want, they get to do it the easy way and we....we'll we have no choice and were told to fucking deal with it. We'll guess what? Fuck you. I've been VERY adament about not showing her the hurt i've been going through...Started working out and all that...taking care of myself...acting all happy...I even pretend i'm going on dates..lol...I will not give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt me. We'll this was just some random rant...and i'll finish it with a fantastic song by Pantera. If ever words were spoken Painful and untrue I said I loved but I lied In my life All I wanted Was the keeping Of someone like you As it turns out Deeper within me Love was twisted and pointed at you Never ending pain, quickly ending life -- (Chorus) You keep this love, thing, child, toy You keep this love, fist, scar, break You keep this love I'd been the tempting one Stole her from herself This gift in pain Her pain was life And sometimes I feel so sorry I regret this the hurting of you But you make me so unhappy I'd take my life and leave love with you I'd kill myself for you, I'd kill you for myself -- (Chorus) No more head trips