sick of the depression crap!!!

I started today in a pretty good mood and then like someone cast a spell on me I dove into a deep depression.  I have been sober for 74 days and would have given it up for a fifth of vodka.  Using a depressive to help depression makes no sense to anyone but someone who suffers from alcoholism and depression.
Since my last go round at the nut house my wife does not let me carry any money on me.  Good thing today.
 
Getting tired for the ups' and downs'.  The trip shurally sucks.
 
JP