Sick of being sick!

Whenever I don't feel good I constantly remind myself that things could be much worse. But at times I find myself not believing that even though I know its true. I would do anything to remember what it was like before I got this terrible disease. Having crohns disease for over a decade makes this difficult. I have never been in remission and I am beginning to become exhausted. I am stuck in a rut and I feel like I will never get out of it. Stuck here going no where but down. I am grateful for what I have but I feel like I can only take so much. I hide it from everyone who cares about me because I don't want to burden them with my problems. Even when I am not having a bad flare up I still don't feel well. I am weak and unmotivated. I have no energy and want to do nothing but hide in my room. I play it off like everything is fine and I think that just makes things worse. Just needed to vent...I guess I'll just take it day by day. That is all I can do.