Sick Day

So, I went to work Monday and Tuesday and managed to get through it alright.  Last night I hurt a lot, especially my lower back, though not exclusively.  I wrote it off as being from being on my feet almost all day Monday and Tuesday.  This morning I was clammy and still hurting, but I got ready for work and went in anyway.  But I was only there for about an hour and a half before I realized that I was feeling worse, not better or even the same.  I told my manager (since the job is at a restaurant, they don't want us there if we are sick) and she sent me home.  I came home and crashed.  I slept from about 11:30am-3:15pm.  I was experiencing cold sweats in addition to my general overall achy-ness and when I got home, I had a low grade fever, too.  When I woke up I wasn't sweating anymore, though I was still a little chilled.  The fever was down some (though not gone).  Unfortuately, I was still super achy.  I was also in a bit of a daze.  See, when I'm legitimately sick with the flu or a stomach bug, I know it's the case because I will have super intense, detailed, lucid dreams that are just hard to shake when I wake up.  That was the case today.  I completely reinvented the history of the wizarding world (from Harry Potter) from the time of the 2nd Wizarding War through present.  This included the formation of a new school, different relationships between some of the characters, the addition of some characters, and many other details.  It took me a solid 3 hours to feel like I was part of this world again, not the world I created in my dream.  It's shaken me a little that I've been so out of it today.  And I'm having a hard time letting today just be what it was and knowing that I'll be able to move on tomorrow (if the fever is gone, that is).  At least I tried to get through work today.  I showed that I'm dedicated by showing up to the job, even though I didn't feel 100%.  But they also can't risk getting the customers sick because an employee contaminates the food by coming to work sick.  I understand that.  I just hope that tomorrow I'm feeling even better and am able to get back to work.  I think that being at work is going to help me get back into a routine and help me to feel better, or at least I hope so.  The risk with me taking a sick day is that I may just want to stay home instead of trying to go back to work when I really should be going back to work.  I have a really hard time differentiating which side of the line I'm on sometimes.  Am I really sick and need to stay home or am I pretending to be sick so that I don't have to go to work?  It also means that I feel guilty when I legitimately am sick and have to be home, instead of letting myself rest and get better.

As I'm sitting here typing this, I'm starting to get those cold sweats again...*sigh*...I hope some good rest tonight leads to feeling better tomorrow, and if not, that I'm able to rest enough tomorrow without feeling guilty so that Friday I can get back to work.