Sick Bastard!!!!!!

I really don't need this kind of crap right now. I am in the middle of trying to finish term papers and study for final exams. I have far more important things going on in my life to worry about right now than this sort of cry for attention. I've tried to meet you half way many many times, don't kid yourself! How many times have you "apologized" only to have me accept the apology and tell you that I hold nothing against you despite the fact that the vast majority of those apologies have been come with the same package as a number of accusations? Every time, I do believe. I have tried and tried in vain to understand your side of things. I have tried and tried in vain to help you understand my side. What responsibility do I have to do any of this? None. I do not owe you anything. I don't owe you forgiveness, but I gave it to you anyways - over and over and over again. I don't owe you any explanations, but I've given them to you as best I could anyways. I don't owe you any apologies for any of the things I could have done better, but I've apologized anyways - over and over and over again. So here we have it - I've apologized to you but you've NEVER accepted my apologies, despite the sincerity of them. I've accepted every bloody one of your apologies, despite their being insincere. I've placed your wellbeing prior to my own on a number of occassions, trying in vain to help you get back on track to living a happy and fulfilling life with or without me, without expecting ANYTHING back. But all I've gotten from any of these efforts is more accusations, and attempts to make me feel like a shitty person. But that's right.. YOU'RE the fucking victim here.. I forgot. BULL SHIT. The only person making you a victim is you and if you either can't understand that or refuse to accept that, I just don't care anymore. Not my problem. Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to me - you did not contact me to apologize. You contacted me to try to make me feel sorry for you, and guilty about not doing enough for you. Well, this time it's not going to work. It is clear by your hateful response that you did mean to hurt me, and you still intend to continue trying to hurt me. I'm done forgiving you for things you don't deserve any forgiveness for. You dont' forgive a murderer who keeps on murdering.. so I'm not going to forgive you for fucking with me if you are going to just continue to fuck with me. I'm done trying to understand you. I'm done feeling sorry for you. I'm done feeling guilty about things I should not even feel remotely guilty about. I'm done feeding your sick twisted persecutory fetishes. If you want to live a life of pain and distrust, and lead some kind of psychomasochistic existance that is fine by me. But leave me the fuck out of it. You clearly have NO desire to heal from this episode of your life, but I do. I want to move on and I've been doing a damn fine job of it, too. You see.. instead of spending all my time sitting alone in a dark corner pitying myself, I've actually continued to live my life. I've seen counsellors when I needed to. I've made new friends. I've gone on some dates. I've fucked a couple people. What have you done in the past year and a half that is in any way conducive to you getting on with your life? Not a damn thing. So don't blame ME for the fact that you're still stuck in this rut. You say you want to move on but to do that you need to leave everyone and everything behind... uhm... didn't you do that a fucking year and a half ago?!?! Yeah.. that's what I thought. You're so full of shit I can smell it from here. You don't want to get better, you just want the whole goddamn world to feel sorry for you and pat you on the back and say "you're right, Jonny boy, the world is out to get you. You are a victim. Life is so unfair. Here, have a popsicle you poor, abused lad..."Don't ever contact me again. I don't want your apologies or explanations, even if one day in the distant future you are actually sincere in them. Don't you ever again cry out to me for attention. It's not okay to treat someone this way, no matter how messed up you might be. It is absolutely unforgiveable that you would try to keep me from moving on with my life after all this time. You are extremely selfish and I have no use for you. G'day.You are now blocked so don't bother trying to write back.