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awwww man, im sittin here tryin to write but dont even no what to say here. well lets start off with sayin tht i had a great memorial day weekend this past weekend. i went with a bunch of my friends down to my one friends beach house in ocean city md. and had a blast, yes i did drink but we took taxis to the bar/club/ whatever Secrets if any yall  herd of it, its right on the beach and water so tht made it cooler, and got taxis home. it really wasn't cheap but we had a great time and were safe about doing it so tht made it better. Since it was on the beach the whole place was sand, so it kinda made it harder for me to walk, esp with the fact tht i had a couple to drink. but it was still a great time, which we all will be doing again.  well tht was my weekend then i came home and had to come back for class fun fun. I dunno wen this happened but going from tht happy to this sad and low really sucks. I really dont no y im this down maybe its the fact tht this girl im tryin to talk to keweps pushin me away since I screwed her over twice both times for emily, cuz I thot she had changed her mind and was gonna come back, so wat do i do i just ignore this girl and or tell her im done so i basically screw her over. so now im tryin to talk to her again and i guess i was almost there but all i need to do is jus bring up emilys name and there we go right back to tht place. So I dunno what to do, i dont no if i should keep up this annoyin and tiresome fight with ashley, or jus let it alone. I dunno I jus no tht I am down and whenever i have a woman in my life it just makes me happier.         The last thing was tht I thot I was over Emily as much as i could be, then the other day i had a job interview about an hr away, so I jokingly asked emily if i got this job i was gonna need to get a place with u up here, totally kiddin. Then she says she is not moving out til luike chrismas with her new boyfriend. Which kinda hurt I mean I know we both gotta move on with our lives and it has been a pretty long time. but i  dunno, i didnt want her movin on til i already had moved on. so thas whgy i tried so hard at 1st, now im just lettin it come as it comes. and i thot i was done with her and completely moved on but i jus wanna see her happy i guess. even tho it wont be with me like i always pictured. o well fuck it im done writin now. i hope this made sense i really dont care if it didn't. God bless everyone