Showing up for life

So here we are. Attempt no. 1867. Trying, once again, to tackle the dark cloud entangling my mind. Today was a good day. I didnt freak out when I slept past my alarm. I ate good food with a good friend (the kind of friend you feel comfortable enough around that you dont fight off panic attacks during the drive over). And i laughed with my mum as we ran errands. But its always there. That dark cloud. It tried to scare me from trying that new cafe. It tried to stop me from choosing the nicer table, in case it upset someone else. But for today, I won.