Shopping

Dear Journal, 

The other day I weighed myself for the first time in like 4 or 5 months and I saw that I gained 8 lbs! I now weigh 158lbs and literally nobody I tell can believe it. I don't look like I weight that much, but I DO. I've always been pretty heavy, but this is too much. When I watch fights and they talk about how much the boxers weigh in at I feel weird taht I am literally heavier than them. I don't feel that bad about my body, but I hate that my clothes don't fit. I work out a lot and do weights which probably explains some of this... And I like that my legs are getting thicker and my back is more muscular, but.. It sucks that none of my jeans fit anymore and all my shirts feel tight in the armpits. I used to love wearing jeans and now they barely zip up. I love fashion and I love all my clothes but I feel horrible in them. I want to go shopping and buy the next size up, but I have no money and my bf is too broke to buy me stuff. And I hate wearing loose shirts...BUT THAT's ALL THAT FITS ME NOW! smh. What do I do? I don't want to get skinny and lose all my progress, but I don't want to buy new clothes, this is a dilemma. I can't wait to get a better job so I can buy more clothes and be comfortable and feel good throughout the day.