She's here!

It's hard to believe my baby girl is 1 week old today. She is so perfect. I could just sit and stare at her all day long...
We went in Friday morning for the c-section. The surgery was scheduled for 1:15 pm. My midwife came in and did an ultrasound to make certain she was still breech, which of course she was. The nurse was explaining what would happen. She said they would take me in to get ready and then when they were ready to make the incision they would bring Matt in. I asked if there was any way he could stay with me. She said it just wasn't how they did things. That we could ask, but she didn't think so. I had been doing really well all morning, but that was when I started to cry. I'm not sure she knew how to handle it (I would think being a L&D nurse, she would be a little better at being sensitive to crying women). She started explaining that it was just like any other surgery - they had to keep the environment sterile. Matt asked if I was going to be ok or if I wanted to push the issue. From the sound of his voice, I could tell he was ready make a scene if I said I needed him. I tried really hard to be ok, but I was scared.
The anesthesiologist came in and explained what he would be doing. Everyone started coming in - my midwife, the Dr doing the surgery, so many people. They told me it was time to go to the OR. Matt asked the anesthesiologist if he could just come and stay with me. I wanted to hug him when he said he didn't care. My midwife quickly helped Matt get garbed up and we walked in to the OR together. They did the spinal and laid me down. It's funny how modesty just goes right out the window. I'm laying there splayed out, gown around my neck, a nurse putting in a catheter, midwife cleaning my tummy, surrounded by people getting me ready. It was crazy.
They put up the sheet and started cutting. I could feel lots of pushing and pulling and hear them talking. Matt was holding my hand tightly. I started feeling like I couldn't breathe, so they lifted my head and chest a bit.
It took them some time to get her out and she didn't make any noise at first. I knew they had her out but I couldn't hear her doing anything. I could hear the Dr saying don't stimulate her yet, I knew there must be a reason, but all I could think was 'is she ok?'. Finally we heard a squeak and I started to sob. All I could do was cry. She started screaming. My husband looked around and said she was bigger than he thought she'd be. They took her to the warming table and got her breathing and checking her out. They asked Matt if he wanted to go over with her. He asked me if I was ok. I said yes and he hurried over. He had his phone and took a video of her. He came back and showed it to me. She was so tiny. They were using this tool to hit her back. They said it was to break up the fluid and help her breathe. She had a ton of dark hair and was just so beautiful.
It was about then that I started to feel like I was going to pass out. I could hear them saying that things were 'boggy' and the anesthesiologist said he had given me pitocin. They told him to give me something else too. I learned later that my uterus didn't clamp down like it's supposed to, so I was bleeding. They had to give me some additional medicine to try to help stop the bleeding. Fortunately, they were able to get it stopped before things got really bad. I ended up staying an extra day in the hospital, but overall things seem to be healing well.
Right after that they brought my baby over, all wrapped up in a blanket, and laid her on my chest right next to my face. I looked at her and choked out 'Hi baby'. She opened her eyes, looked at me, and smiled. I lifted my arm to hold her and Matt helped me keep her there. I just cried. She was so tiny. Looking at her all wrapped up on my chest, Matt said 'She's much smaller than I thought at first. She's so little.'
Then I started feeling nauseous. I said I thought I was going to throw up. Matt asked if I was ok. I remember his voice sounding concerned. The nurse asked if I needed her to take the baby for a minute. I said 'I'm going to throw up'. So they took her and Matt held a bag near my mouth. I gagged several times, but there was nothing in my stomach. The anesthesiologist started fanning my head. I got really weak and felt like I couldn't lift my hand. Matt just kept saying comforting things and how we had a baby and she was doing well and was beautiful. He really helped keep me calm. 
Finally they had me back together and took me back to the recovery room with the baby right behind. The nurse told me that her temp was low and we had 2 options. We could do skin-to-skin if I was up to it or they could take her to the nursery and put her in the warmer, but we needed to do something immediately. I told them I wanted her. They stripped her down to her diaper and helped me put her against my chest inside my gown. I just held her and cried and whispered to her. It was the most amazing, beautiful experience.
She had some trouble regulating her body temperature and her blood sugar that first day. But both of those were doing better by Sunday. She weighed 6 lb 9 oz and was 19 inches long.
Matt stayed up with me that whole first night. She was fussy. Any time she made a noise, he'd jump up from his bed (they have couches that fold into twin beds in all of the L&D rooms) and check on her. He'd sit in the rocking chair and talk to her. I loved laying there just watching and listening. He was just so sweet and loving with her. The whole time we were in the hospital, when she'd get upset, he'd take her and rock her and she'd calm right down. She hears his voice and starts looking around for him. She just adores him - and I'm pretty sure he's smitten with her.
I can't believe I'm actually a mom. I love her SO much. She is just so tiny and perfect. Sometimes she'll look at me and just smile the cutest smile. I feel like she's been with me forever.