She's back

I only have three days with her before she leaves for another four, today  was the first back. They say she has reactive attachment disorder, whatever it is she is hell. She came home, already rude, but less than normal. I get her on a bike with him, we ride to the park, play, ride back, get ice cream with again inappropriate reactions like blowing raspberries (in the I don't like it way) being rude. We get back, she needs to do homework, I sit quietly in the same room playing on the phone. She tells me to get out, that she can't do homework with me there, says that she could only do it upside down, that the teachers had to talk to her about. She sits for an hour and does no homework. She will go to school like that. It's the first time I haven't forced her to finish her homework. Of course she's completely rude, yells at me, says it's my fault, says I have a problem, that I'm creepy. I have to make sure she gets in the shower, wait outside for her to undress, use the restroom, get in the shower. I have to come in, make sure she uses shampoo, conditioner, washes her body. She's 9. She gets out and she's screaming that she can do it herself. I stand quietly. I ask her to pick up her towel. She says she knows and she already does it (never happens). She forgets her teeth, gets in her bedroom, reiterating "Don't look at me" "I hate you" "You have a problem" while picking up clothes and getting into bed. She starts crying that I'm too far away for her to say good night to the cat (she can easily pet it), and continued "I hate you's". I walk out and shut the door. All over the course of an hour and a half, homework to shutting the door. 
 
I'm enraged, depressed, tense, stressed, hopeless, and feel like I'm just a piece of trash for other people to beat up on. I can't love her, I hate her. It's near impossible to do the bare minimum of not react, there is no room to do anything more.