She Got It!
Hello SOTH - Time just seems to be flying by...it's already Sunday nite and the beginning of another week..sigh. I don't always reach out to others about problems/issues I have - I am usually the one who will listen to others, send cards, etc. As you all know, losing a child truly puts you in another realm at times and is often so isolating...Anyway I reached out this morning to a lady who had taught a bible study a couple of years ago whom I knew she was special but never thought she would get "my pain".
I asked her to remember me in her prayers ( we never did become friends - more like acquaintances) but I took a chance and told her Jennifer had died as well as my mom 7 months earlier. I simply asked that she pray for me because there are some days, I just don't know if I'm going to make it.
Her response was in her eyes - the most genuine feelings came through. She verified that Jennifer was my only child and then she said - "Oh my gosh, you have lost your identity as a mom the way you know it".
"Oh my Gosh, I would be lost without my kids, I can't begin to know how you are feeling but I can tell you I would be lost, wondering "what now?" - She said many more one liners that affirmed to me SHE GOT IT.
I know that she has not lost a child and she can't completely know, but she was able to put her self in my place the best she could and she so helped me. She also said, "it's my time now" - Let God show you what is in store for you---She said - WHY NOT TRUST GOD NOW because you have lost everything that meant the world to you and your daughter was your world so 'Why Not?" trust God? She hugged me tightly, her eyes said it all - the pain I feel..
Each of one you have become so special to me in a way that I never ever could imagine....I look forward to reading journals, responses and feel so comforted and loved from women whom I have never met....FMO is truly unique and such a blessing. I wish I wasn't part of this group - wish my daughter was still here but she's not and you all bless me everyday, sometimes every second when I just can't breathe...you remind me to breathe....Okay so I'm rambling - sorry.
I wanted to share my experience I had this morning because I know you care and it gives us hope in people when the majority of people I come in contact with don't get it or say something that hurts and we are left standing there.....
((hugs)) and much love to my new friends - sisters of the heart. Vicki
I asked her to remember me in her prayers ( we never did become friends - more like acquaintances) but I took a chance and told her Jennifer had died as well as my mom 7 months earlier. I simply asked that she pray for me because there are some days, I just don't know if I'm going to make it.
Her response was in her eyes - the most genuine feelings came through. She verified that Jennifer was my only child and then she said - "Oh my gosh, you have lost your identity as a mom the way you know it".
"Oh my Gosh, I would be lost without my kids, I can't begin to know how you are feeling but I can tell you I would be lost, wondering "what now?" - She said many more one liners that affirmed to me SHE GOT IT.
I know that she has not lost a child and she can't completely know, but she was able to put her self in my place the best she could and she so helped me. She also said, "it's my time now" - Let God show you what is in store for you---She said - WHY NOT TRUST GOD NOW because you have lost everything that meant the world to you and your daughter was your world so 'Why Not?" trust God? She hugged me tightly, her eyes said it all - the pain I feel..
Each of one you have become so special to me in a way that I never ever could imagine....I look forward to reading journals, responses and feel so comforted and loved from women whom I have never met....FMO is truly unique and such a blessing. I wish I wasn't part of this group - wish my daughter was still here but she's not and you all bless me everyday, sometimes every second when I just can't breathe...you remind me to breathe....Okay so I'm rambling - sorry.
I wanted to share my experience I had this morning because I know you care and it gives us hope in people when the majority of people I come in contact with don't get it or say something that hurts and we are left standing there.....
((hugs)) and much love to my new friends - sisters of the heart. Vicki
Replies
I am so pleased that you have someone near you that you can lean on. We love you, but sometimes we just need to have a real live hug. Sending long distance love...Lauri
This is a very big comfort, to have a connection with another. Yes we have it here, but in person helps so much too. Love u xoxox
yes, I know what you mean when you say you wish your daughter were here and you weren\'t part of this group... we all wish that sooo much..
hugs MaryLou
To be the receiver of that kind of compassion is such a blessing and I\'m so happy that you were able to feel that from your friend.
The amazing thing about these kinds of moments is that she was blessed too...
Lots of loving care as navigate this week as best as you are able. That is enough for now... More than enough...
Heartfelt (((hugs))) dear Vicki.
XO Joanie
Much love, coming right back to you !! I think it is wonderful, that someone was able to say things that comforted you. I find that most people do not \"get it\" and would rather not think about it. FMO is my home and my support system. My \"real\" world just does not \"get it\"......
((((HUGS))))....Julia
This was a wonderful and blessed encounter. That woman will keep you in her prayers and this is powerful. And God is also asking you to TRUST. I remember sitting in the pew waiting for Mass to start in June 2011 thinking, \"God forgive me, I don\'t think I can do this\" and I distinctly *heard* \'WILL YOU GIVE ME TIME?\' Yes. Now I *hear* the reminder in my mind and heart, \'WILL YOU TRUST ME\' and I\'m trying so hard to do that. Much love, sister.
What a beautiful soul you met and shared LOVE with!!
Thank you for sharing this with us!
Wow, you said EXACTLY how I feel many, many times. People say things, without thinking, and really have no clue of our situation.
Dear lady, you are not rambling at all. Our hearts are hurting. We are in a pain that we will never recover from. We are in a club, that we do not even want our worst enemy to be part of. Sometimes, all we have is each other to share and understand. The Lord be with you and bless you!
I hope she becomes a friend for life. They are so very valuable when our heart is so hurting. Treasure those persons who are healing souls. A time will come when you will be able to give as much caring as you receive.
Gently holding your hand on this journey, Debbie
Yes, there are some very compassionate mothers who, although not having lost a child, come VERY CLOSE to getting the near- despair intensity. Maybe they can imagine better than others, I don\'t know, but they do seem to say very comforting comments, that don\'t \"sting\"unlike other Moms with non-transitioned children. Thanks for sharing! Love to you and Jennifer, Donna
How wonderful to find someone that can empathize with you. Very few can \"see\" what a tremendous loss we have experienced. And what precious advice that she gave you...why not? Love and gentle hugs....Karen
We have a trainer at work who is childless and yet, she was one of only two that day at work (I work retail and have to work Sundays) who thought of me. Her name is Sally. She came to me and said that she knew this day had to be hard for me and she hugged me. The other person was our OPS manager who came up, put his arm around me and whispered \"Happy Mother\'s Day\". I cried. I could not thank him until the next day. People can surprise you.
Peace.