shaving lesson
Blue as the sky today, and sunshine....First day of spring!
I just taught my daughter to shave her legs. I shoulda done it two years ago, but I was not focused... she's going to be 15 in two weeks! But I've always lumped her in with my son... he's 4 years younger, they are contant companions, but things are changing, and have been changing for a while...
I realized today, if I were still drinking, I don't think today would've happened. I think because it's Saturday, and the first day of Spring, I would've been "celebrating, starting early this morning with a box of wine... and by noon, I would not be in any condition to teach a kid how to shave... let alone to remember the important conversation that went along with it all...
My daughter is a beautiful little person, she's strong, physically and emotionally. She is able to speak up when she thinks something is wrong. She fixes the silly drama problems in her gang of friends, she speaks out and she comes up with solutions, and it works. She has a clear understanding of her own personal values and boundaries, and she enforces them... and when she has questions, she comes to me for help...
I'm so proud of her as a person, and I'm proud of me, that I wised up in time to enjoy this... I'm so happy to be present. Fully present.
I can look back with regret, at the time when my other daughters were coming up, and I wasn't there for them, not like I could've been. Should've been. I can do that, or I can do my best now... I'm choosing to do better, and to do my best. The past is the past, and I can't go back. I can only go forward.
I have an important job to do here. I'm doing it! I am actually doing it! I'm so proud of me! I'm so proud of US! My kids are awesome! They are beautiful and strong and talented and they have important jobs to do too.
I can't give up on my oldest daughter. Somewhere inside is that sweet, beautiful, caring, responsible person. I have to reach her. I have to step out of my traditional role in her life. I can't nag. I can't cajole. I can't shame. I have to reach her heart. I have to reach past that damaged scar tissue, and find my daughter again. I'm not going to give up. I'm not going to shut down just because it's painful and difficult and I keep getting smacked... That's when it's most important to stay in the fight. She's worth it.
I just taught my daughter to shave her legs. I shoulda done it two years ago, but I was not focused... she's going to be 15 in two weeks! But I've always lumped her in with my son... he's 4 years younger, they are contant companions, but things are changing, and have been changing for a while...
I realized today, if I were still drinking, I don't think today would've happened. I think because it's Saturday, and the first day of Spring, I would've been "celebrating, starting early this morning with a box of wine... and by noon, I would not be in any condition to teach a kid how to shave... let alone to remember the important conversation that went along with it all...
My daughter is a beautiful little person, she's strong, physically and emotionally. She is able to speak up when she thinks something is wrong. She fixes the silly drama problems in her gang of friends, she speaks out and she comes up with solutions, and it works. She has a clear understanding of her own personal values and boundaries, and she enforces them... and when she has questions, she comes to me for help...
I'm so proud of her as a person, and I'm proud of me, that I wised up in time to enjoy this... I'm so happy to be present. Fully present.
I can look back with regret, at the time when my other daughters were coming up, and I wasn't there for them, not like I could've been. Should've been. I can do that, or I can do my best now... I'm choosing to do better, and to do my best. The past is the past, and I can't go back. I can only go forward.
I have an important job to do here. I'm doing it! I am actually doing it! I'm so proud of me! I'm so proud of US! My kids are awesome! They are beautiful and strong and talented and they have important jobs to do too.
I can't give up on my oldest daughter. Somewhere inside is that sweet, beautiful, caring, responsible person. I have to reach her. I have to step out of my traditional role in her life. I can't nag. I can't cajole. I can't shame. I have to reach her heart. I have to reach past that damaged scar tissue, and find my daughter again. I'm not going to give up. I'm not going to shut down just because it's painful and difficult and I keep getting smacked... That's when it's most important to stay in the fight. She's worth it.
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