shane..

hmm, shanes back in GR, im terrified of getting anywhere near him..i'm so ready to be rid of the horrible things hes put me through, but will they come flooding back into my head if i DO see him?? i hope i'll never kno, the friend hes staying with is in my classes, i see him everywhere it seems.. idk if im overreacting or what..its all so frustrating, not knoing what hes doing, knowing the restraining order is upp and my name was never on it in the first place.. im not sure how that makes me feel, scared, worried, paranoid, idk..all these thaughts keep coming back to me, he was sweet at first, then protective, which was irritating at times, but other times it made me happy- he used to care so much..then he got jelous, of everythintg, my freinds, my family, he convinced himself (and me for that matter) that my freinds and family had come up with a conspiracy that they were going to steal me away from him "Love, they're taking you from me" he said..and i beleived him.. it always made me so happy when he called me that..Love..he always knew what i wanted, what i liked *sigh* idk what i think of him now, his mind set frightens me a little..he seemed so proud of driving my cousins ex to the point of suicide..no, i cant say im afraid of him, im afraid of his choices..of his freinds, always persuading him to do recless things that nearly got him killed..im glad to be rid of it i was always so exausted after reasoning with him..tho i do worry, alex dylan levi and aj have such a big influence over him, and for some reason, hes always at the heart of the group, always the leader..