Shame

I don't know what happened.  Went out with my husband last night.  Didn't have a drop of alcohol.  Came home early cuz I had to pick my daughter up from the babysitters.  Had a bottle of wine.  Husband came home and (this is what he told me happened) I screamed at him for having friends and that I'm so lonely here and that I hated him.  I don't feel that way.  I don't even remember it.  I guess he slept on the couch.  I feel so shameful.  I don't hate him.  I don't resent him.  I was the one who said, "Sure, let's move to Minot.  I need a change anyway."  It's MY fault I don't have friends...to a point.  I love him so much and he is my best friend.  Maybe I resent him a little for going out with his friends just because I want to spend time with him too.  The time we DO spend together, we barely talk.  He plays solitaire on his phone constantly.  Kinda thinking that if solitaire is more interesting than me, there is something wrong.
 
Just rambling now.  Wish I could be a better person for him.