settling my affairs
I am meeting with a social worker this week to help me set up a living will and to help me find some help so I am able to stay home longer. Hubby works over an hour away. I have a medical button, but I don't feel able to do certain things on my own anymore. I honestly don't think I will make it to the transplant list if things keep going this way.....and on one hand it'll be a relief, to be done with the inability to breathe. I don't want to go and I am still not giving up on transplant....just facing reality. Hubby and I need to get our wills done anyway. I have already made my wishes known to family, I do not want to be put on a ventilator because I know I would never come off so what's the point.
I feel like I should be shout and and crying and asking 'why me', but I think I have always just accepted that this could be the way things played out. Kids are good ... married and settled, I worry some about Hubby, but I think he would be okay. The kids would keep him going and our little Lola dog would be there for him. I'm so glad he has such a good connection with her, even though she's my girl lol.
I am so dissapointed in some of my friends, how do you not heck in with people you've known for years...especially when you know they aren't doing well? I don't understand that. Some of them message me and say....we need to get together and catch up! And I want to say well you better hurry up...
Do I sound bitter? Maybe I am, but again I thought these people were my friends. It's funny who shows up for you and who doesn't. People you wouldn't think would be there are the ones that help the most, and the ones you thought would be right there helping out ... are nowhere to be found.
and that's enough for tonight
Replies
Yes disappointing! You may have to take the initiative and say I'd love to catch up! Please call and come by for tea, I'm sorry I'm not able to get out.
People may feel skittish - they don't know what to say or do, they need some help knowing what you wound like from them.
Tell them please pardon if your energy is low but a brief visit would be warmly welcomed.
It must be very difficult not being able to breathe and also worrying about everything else at once. You are not on the list for transplant yet? It is a good thing to get your wills, ect done. I did all that a few years ago. I bought a niche in a colombarium for my ashes. It was so hard when my Mom passed away to have to do all that while grieving. I hoped to spare my family that at least. I do feel better having done that. Sorry, I havent been on for awhile and have not kept up well with everyone. God be with you.
thanks for the responses..... MT, I am still working on getting listed but things are moving very slowly and now I seem to have some issues with my heart.
Trissa, these are friends that have been through enough with me, they shouldn't need any encouragement. It's just disappointing.