Serves me right

I'm up at 3 AM.  But I stayed in bed until 3 PM.  Serves me right. I'm feeling weird . . . dissociating type stuff.  I just want to sleep.  I see my therapist tomorrow - i totally flooded her e-mail inbox this week.  I think the first thing I'll say when I see her is "I'm sorry, I abused the right to have your e-mail address.  You'd better change it."   It's getting worse.  But they say it gets worse before it gets better.  Someday, someday it will be over.  I'll be healthy, I'll be free, I'll be able to live the life I want to live, no longer burdened by anxiety, fatigue, pain - both kinds.  I feel like I should talk to someone.  Maybe I should try a hotline.  But the knives are in the kitchen and I'm in my room and as long as I keep it that way, it's all good.