September 27,2010
Here I am again. It's been quite a while since my last update and so much has happened that I don't even know where to begin.
Still seeing Rich. We've had our ups and downs, I even broke it off for a bit but I know in my heart and head that this man is definitely going to be a part of my life for a long time. He had real trust issues and with me being in the place that I am in, I didn't feel able to do anything to reassure him. In fact, I found myself doing things that I knew would test him. But we've talked and talked and talked some more and I'm learning that it really IS possible to work through things that are problems in a relationship. What a concept!! He has the patience of a saint. He says that at this age, he never thought he'd ever find someone, let alone someone like me and that he will do whatever it takes to make it work. And I'll be damned, but I'm finding that I feel the same way. Scares the living shit out of me.
Big test this past weekend -- we went away together. Spent 4 days at a cottage in the Adirondacks. We had a wonderful time. Hiked one peak, took a chair lift to the top of another, drank lots and lots of wine, ate like pigs and laughed like kids. We fed the ducks from the dock and one of them actually bit my toe! Yikes! He's quite the photographer and I had more pictures taken of me than I have in the last 20 years. I HATE having my picture taken, really really hate it but he actually thinks I'm hot and he wants to take them. I keep telling him that I wish I was half as hot as he thinks I am, lol!
My stalker's trial was this past Tuesday, that was a trip. I had to testify and he sat there glaring the whole time. He's such an arrogant bastard and he thought I wouldn't show (thereby the charges would be dismissed) or that i wouldn't testify. Wrong! The judge will render his decision within 2 weeks and I can't see how he cannot be found guilty.
While we were away I couldn't help but think about where I was physically, mentally and emotionally just one year ago. If anyone had told me then what I would be doing now i would have laughed in their face. Everything was so hopeless and I was so fearful. I still have a way to go and I may never totally heal but I am like a different person altogether. I hope some newbies read this and understand that time does heal. Even when you are absolutely, positively, no fucking way sure that you will ever feel good again, it sneaks up on you and one day you realize that you're not only okay, but you're great.
Still seeing Rich. We've had our ups and downs, I even broke it off for a bit but I know in my heart and head that this man is definitely going to be a part of my life for a long time. He had real trust issues and with me being in the place that I am in, I didn't feel able to do anything to reassure him. In fact, I found myself doing things that I knew would test him. But we've talked and talked and talked some more and I'm learning that it really IS possible to work through things that are problems in a relationship. What a concept!! He has the patience of a saint. He says that at this age, he never thought he'd ever find someone, let alone someone like me and that he will do whatever it takes to make it work. And I'll be damned, but I'm finding that I feel the same way. Scares the living shit out of me.
Big test this past weekend -- we went away together. Spent 4 days at a cottage in the Adirondacks. We had a wonderful time. Hiked one peak, took a chair lift to the top of another, drank lots and lots of wine, ate like pigs and laughed like kids. We fed the ducks from the dock and one of them actually bit my toe! Yikes! He's quite the photographer and I had more pictures taken of me than I have in the last 20 years. I HATE having my picture taken, really really hate it but he actually thinks I'm hot and he wants to take them. I keep telling him that I wish I was half as hot as he thinks I am, lol!
My stalker's trial was this past Tuesday, that was a trip. I had to testify and he sat there glaring the whole time. He's such an arrogant bastard and he thought I wouldn't show (thereby the charges would be dismissed) or that i wouldn't testify. Wrong! The judge will render his decision within 2 weeks and I can't see how he cannot be found guilty.
While we were away I couldn't help but think about where I was physically, mentally and emotionally just one year ago. If anyone had told me then what I would be doing now i would have laughed in their face. Everything was so hopeless and I was so fearful. I still have a way to go and I may never totally heal but I am like a different person altogether. I hope some newbies read this and understand that time does heal. Even when you are absolutely, positively, no fucking way sure that you will ever feel good again, it sneaks up on you and one day you realize that you're not only okay, but you're great.
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