September 22, 2016

I was having a decent day. My legs really hurt from cutting last night. They only hurt when they rub against my jeans. Work was okay, my boss was on my ass, but she always is. I mostly just kept to myself today. I had an appointment with my medication doctor. He is upping the dose on my medications. I lost 8 pounds in a couple of weeks. He didn’t seem surprised when I told him about the recent trip to the emergency room. It started to storm when I left my doctor’s appointment. I ran up to my work because it was down pouring and my coworker gave me a ride home, but it took us 2 hours to go 6 miles. Finally I got home, but all the panicking around (mainly because of fallen trees and the tornado that touched down in Riverdale, Utah) gave me really bad anxiety, now I just want to be around 1 person who can calm me down before I have a mental breakdown. I haven’t had thoughts of dying today, but that doesn’t mean anything at this point. Because I’m sure I’m going to have them here soon.