September 21, 2016

Cutting makes me feel great. I don’t know why, its messed up. I keep trying to stop but it’s not working. All of my friends have distanced themselves from me. I don’t know what to do with myself without them. That’s part of the reason I don’t want to go to the hospital, I don’t think any of them will visit. I understand they need time for themselves, but I’m not going to be around much longer and then they are going to regret not spending time with me. I’m honestly really mad at Brandon even though I shouldn’t be, Ed is dumb and doesn’t like to talk that much, Amanda and amber care, but all they say is to get help. I feel like telling them, don’t you freaking think I’m trying?! Chris my ex, doesn’t give a shit about me. No one does. That’s why I’m leaving. I’m cutting as I’m writing this and it’s not helping me! I just want to die so bad!!!!!!