September 19, 2016

I cut today, I'm mad because I can't talk to Brandon. I want to die. I bought a new knife just so that I could cut today, I bleed a lot when I cut now, and it makes me want to do it more. I know I signed a paper when I went to the hospital saying I wouldn't harm myself and that I would go to both my appointments, but I don’t care. I'm also mad that Brandon tricked me into telling him where I would be. I thought this would be a good thing, but so far it has only made things worse. I still want to cut, and die. On top of everything else I lied about not being suicidal so that I could leave the hospital.