Sept. 27th, 2008

So, I am going to write my frist journal entry... sort of to get things off my chest.  I usually call my writings "ramblings" so I guess that's what I'll call this one. Things have been sort of rough lately, and I'm sort of in a low space in my life .  I wish things could get better RIGHT NOW, but I know that it's going to take some time, so I am trying to take it nice and slow.  I am trying to be positive and visualize the good and happy times, but sometimes I feel like I am getting no where.  I love DS, and I'm glad that we have a community of people who can give me their support, or who I can support and maybe learn something from helping them out. My mood has been low most days, but it hasn't shifted around as much as it did before.  I wish that there were more people I could talk to about it, but other than DS so many people just seem really interconnected to my life.  I've been dealing with some disappointments, and I also think that others are mad at me.  I feel lonely when people do not contact me, but I also do not want to become too clingly or dependant on them.  I have found that I get angry and irritable very often, and I just want it to stop.  I want to be a happy person, who doesn't have to beat myself up about every little thing.  I am looking for ways to stablize my mood more, and to get out of these dark spaces.  I really do not want to worry so much anymore.