send me a prayer please

I just cried myself to sleep last night. I couldn't hold it in anymore. She is gone. She's really, seriously dead and nothing I do will ever bring her back.
It's been a year, a whole YEAR. It feels surreal, it feels like a big joke. I made an appointment with a therapist today to talk it out for awhile, hopefully this can keep me in the realm of sanity for a day or two.
Just somebody pray for me today. I don't care which God you pray to or if you're just sending me good energy. Just help me out a little if you can.
It's weird that I'm not crying yet. I can't figure out how I'm going to feel today. sad? Angry? depressed? maybe finding my ob-gyn and hog tying her to a lamp post?
just help me pray please our babies are watching over us and protecting us.
love you all *hugs*