Self worth

Today, I am really struggling. I really wish I were salary pay versus hourly...At least then I might not feel as bad when other people do my work for me. 

I also really wish that my self worth was not attached to being able to do my job either at home or at work. I am glad that I can function at home. At home, other than when it comes to moving into the new house, I feel like I do what I need to. I take care of my kids, and while I am not very good at cleaning, I do clean some times. But between packing up our house now, and trying to maintain the house, and spend weekends cleaning up the new house. Other than that our bills get paid, we try to stay within our budget. 

But work is hard to deal with. The owner keeps hovering and trying to help me do my job (which technically should not be a problem, except that fact that I work 35 hours a week, and spend only about 3-7 hours a week actually working; the rest of my time is spent either on here which covers about 2 hours a week, about 5 hours pumping to feed the baby, and the rest of the time playing games and listening to the radio trying to win $1,000.) It bothers me that he would rather do my job for me instead of going out and making sales, or forcing his salesman to actually get off his ass. His job is to stop hemeraging money, but he can't have the balls to force the issue. Another part that bothers me is that I can't say anything about it. He is the owner of the company, he should have the right to order material, or go through the mail, or any of the other tasks that are mine to complete. But if I ask him why he is doing my job for me, he gets butthurt that I am even asking him about it, or reminding him that it is my job, and basically treats me like I am less than good at my job. 

But my stupid head tells me that my self worth is attached to being able to do my job by myself and to be able to provide for my family. It doesn't matter that I am good at my job whether anyone else is involved or not. 

But back to the salary pay, if I had that it wouldn't necessarily matter. I could do my job first thing in the morning and then I could take off, since the owner won't change the salesman's rules, and the salesman just wants to milk the system. I mean, I would change my rules, but since I am hourly, I have to be here in order to make my check.