self worth

When he calls me fat, and a cunt. I dont think anything else could make me feel any lower or more worthless.  How its perfectly okay for him to cut me down and break me , but when i take a jab at him with words he cant take it. Yes i know i shouldnt call him names just because he is calling me names, But i just want for one second for him to feel little like me, to hurt like he hurts me . Because believe me, Ill take his physical abuse over the verbal any day. The physical stuff only hurts until its healed. the verbal, doesnt ever heal..... 
I really couldn't feel any more low right now. I dont even know if  I have the will to live. I just want to silence the words, to feel pretty, to be valuable. Maybe going away permantly will give me that. No one to hurt me anymore.....
 
silence....