Self Esteem
Being brought up by parents that do not encourage you in any way must lead to low self esteem. How do you recover from that when you become an adult?
I've spent my whole life being discouraged from doing what I want - what might make me happy - in order to be "safe". Even now, at 53 years old, when I talk to my mother, and tell her any sort of "plan" I might have, the first words out of her mouth are "you have to be careful...", and she active discourages me from proceeding.
Now, however, her discouragement is transparent. The latest, for example, was a few days ago, after I had done some research online to discover whether or not there were any jobs available in Southern New England (in comparison to Northern New England, which offers almost no opportunities). I found dozens of potential jobs - I'd be fairly assured of being able to get an interview within a few weeks.
Despite my research, which showed me some promise, my mother insisted that there are "no jobs available in Rhode Island", based upon "people she knows who have been out of work for a few years". She offerred her expert advise that there would be no way I could possibly get a job in Southern New England.
My mother sits in her house 24/7, only leaving for doctors appointments every so often. She has my brother, one of the only people she has come visit her, pick up her groceries at the supermarket and prescriptions at the pharmacy - mind you, both the supermarket and pharmacy are within 5 minutes of her house - and speaks to very few people on the phone. Yet, her expert opinion, based solely upon the fact that my brother does not have a job, is that there are no jobs available.
Well, it won't be easy for me to get a job, being 53 (doesn't matter if it is the law, it is harder to get a job at 53 than it is at 23), but I am desperate to get my life back on track, and want to work more than I can possibly describe, so I will persist until I am employed and can afford to set up an apartment and rejoin the modern world.
I have to make sure that I don't discuss any plans or decisions with my mother in order to stop being discouraged by her. I have to stop "discussing" with anyone and just do it. Let the chips fall where they may...
I've spent my whole life being discouraged from doing what I want - what might make me happy - in order to be "safe". Even now, at 53 years old, when I talk to my mother, and tell her any sort of "plan" I might have, the first words out of her mouth are "you have to be careful...", and she active discourages me from proceeding.
Now, however, her discouragement is transparent. The latest, for example, was a few days ago, after I had done some research online to discover whether or not there were any jobs available in Southern New England (in comparison to Northern New England, which offers almost no opportunities). I found dozens of potential jobs - I'd be fairly assured of being able to get an interview within a few weeks.
Despite my research, which showed me some promise, my mother insisted that there are "no jobs available in Rhode Island", based upon "people she knows who have been out of work for a few years". She offerred her expert advise that there would be no way I could possibly get a job in Southern New England.
My mother sits in her house 24/7, only leaving for doctors appointments every so often. She has my brother, one of the only people she has come visit her, pick up her groceries at the supermarket and prescriptions at the pharmacy - mind you, both the supermarket and pharmacy are within 5 minutes of her house - and speaks to very few people on the phone. Yet, her expert opinion, based solely upon the fact that my brother does not have a job, is that there are no jobs available.
Well, it won't be easy for me to get a job, being 53 (doesn't matter if it is the law, it is harder to get a job at 53 than it is at 23), but I am desperate to get my life back on track, and want to work more than I can possibly describe, so I will persist until I am employed and can afford to set up an apartment and rejoin the modern world.
I have to make sure that I don't discuss any plans or decisions with my mother in order to stop being discouraged by her. I have to stop "discussing" with anyone and just do it. Let the chips fall where they may...
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