Seems like some of my jounals are missing?

I wish they had parinoid in there. I have these memories of writing in here when I was like filled with psychosis and considering ending it all and that just ended, yet another session of it, just ended like last Monday. And I'm sure. I remember having the miserable faces. Hum.... see can't even tell reality from reality on the computer. It's got me feeling a little weird. Like someone lifted my writing. Right. Sure someone would really do that. Seems like I'm getting so bad. They say syptoms get worse because of stress. And I'm like so inintouch, I'm thinking "Well I haven't had any extra stress." Shit. I just moved from NorCal to NorID. I'm living around family for the first time and I'm clean and sober longer than I have ever been, and abstinent from my eating disorder. That's all stress, though some of it is good, but I wonder if that's why I am having such a difficult time? Anyway I hope all is well. What a stupid thing to say. Some is well and some not. It's just life and I accept it today.