Seeking Wisdom!
16Aug13 10:48
So today I was told by my dear therapist that I was "splintering" (I call it freaking out) and that all these bad things happening to me/us would always be happening and that I was catrosphizing (SP?). I think some of what she said is so true. When things are bad, more bad things make it even worse! And then more bad things make the previous bad things even worse! And so on.
My question and appeal for your wisdom is this: How the heck do you stop the cycle? I'm all for trying whatever works! What do you all do? Cause I KNOW it's not just me who has these weird groupings of bad things happening! And I know some of you have found a way to find some peace (almost wrote peach) in your heads. Hmmm, maybe that wasn't a slip - maybe I should just eat peaches! Haha. Honestly, I'd love some advice. I think I'll put this on the discussion board and see what might come up.
As always, thank you my friends! Nibs
So today I was told by my dear therapist that I was "splintering" (I call it freaking out) and that all these bad things happening to me/us would always be happening and that I was catrosphizing (SP?). I think some of what she said is so true. When things are bad, more bad things make it even worse! And then more bad things make the previous bad things even worse! And so on.
My question and appeal for your wisdom is this: How the heck do you stop the cycle? I'm all for trying whatever works! What do you all do? Cause I KNOW it's not just me who has these weird groupings of bad things happening! And I know some of you have found a way to find some peace (almost wrote peach) in your heads. Hmmm, maybe that wasn't a slip - maybe I should just eat peaches! Haha. Honestly, I'd love some advice. I think I'll put this on the discussion board and see what might come up.
As always, thank you my friends! Nibs
Replies
Bad things happen to everyone everyday it\'s called life. But without the bad things we wouldn\'t know how to recognize the good things. Maybe you stopped seeing the good things and can only focus on the bad because you don\' t feel good.
I force myself to stop and say at least one nice thing to a total stranger each day. But it has to be sincere.. I go out in the morning & watch the sunrise & notice the beauty in the trees & flowers. Or now I watch the sunrise from my hospital window..I watch the people coming to work watch the wind blow the trees ever so slightly.. But it is beautiful like hundreds of tiny mobiles made of different types of leaves. There are Oak, Elm, and Ash and Pine trees all moving and swaying. Some of the leaves already have a orange & red hue to
them making me think Autumn will soon be here.
You just have to start looking for the good in the bad. But sometimes people need a little help. Faith & a good doctor with the right diagnosis. Also helps...
Love ya,
Cheryl
I would write down a list of good things you can focus on.....and see how you can make it better.......you do have choices. Sometimes you can\'t make it better but maybe tolerable? For every negative thought you have you need to put down 3 positive things in your life. For example: My disease is crap. But I have 1) drs that are helping me through this 2) I have family support 3) I will see what I can do today like take a walk, browse through my garden, lay out in the sun and soak up it\'s positive energy etc. There are so many good things you can come up with but you have to focus on the good stuff that is out there and it is...like Cheryl said. You need to refocus off the bad to the good and you need a therapist that can handle your issues. I know I have seen some and most I never could get that connection with. But you have to search . Maybe a psychiatrist or psychologist might be better at this point? Love ya girl....always here for you as much as I can be through this group:)
Diane
Hey Ladies,
ta so much. Great suggestions and actually ones I used to use. I guess right now it just feels like there ARE no good things happening. The best I can say/find is that my dog and people I care about are still alive! So that\'s like an absence of a negative.
I\'ve had SO many negative things happen in my life. I just figured SOME DAY they would slow down. I escaped a very abusive (in every way) home at 17. Put myself thro AA, AS, BS, MS. Got a professorship then tenure at a college, etc. But what a struggle to do those things. I basically had to give up my personal life to do them. My mother (the only real \'support\') was totally happy with me being a waitress forever but I wanted NEEDED financial stability after growing up so very poor.
Now it\'s like a bad joke! After giving up so much, I\'m back to poverty along with losing my support system (except you guys and Matt, Missy!), losing my health, etc.
I LOVE nature so much too! I feel like my soul gets filled up when I can get outside and absorb the beauty of nature. Sadly, I\"m so sick, I can barely put the dog out right now. But someday (SOON!) I\'m hoping to take more time to admire nature.
Thank you both! I\'ll try to think more and reflect and find some positive things (Heck, I\'d settle for neutral things!). Love ya, NIbs
PS: I pasted this in my journal so I can keep rereading it! :)