Seeking support

I didn't know much about alcohol or substance abuse when I went back to school in my late 30's, I just wanted to help people. I went through a divorce and met my husband, we've been together three years. In the past year the alcoholism has become more painful, so has the verbal abuse. He says he doesn't understand why I can't deal with it now... Why I can't be like we were when we were dating. The truth is I didn't truly get it until we were married last year and under the same roof, how hard it is. I'm sitting here again alone (usually he falls asleep in our bed, with my pleading to) but tonight I couldn't stand it. It's always my fault. Last week on his birthday I was the bitch because his 18 year old daughter who's been arrested and in trouble for drinking, who was home from college asked to come home and drink... I put my foot down, insanity happened. Tonight I was not feeling well, again he turned over to fall asleep and leave me sitting alone in bed. I couldn't take it, he is sleeping in a different room. Is it normal to always feel like it's my fault, for him to think it's always me?