Seeking Help
Last Thursday i call our employee assistance program and spilled my guts. Mostly I talked about my problem with drinking... my alcoholism. This was the 1st time I have every been 100% open and honest with myself and another person and all the ugly
details. My person got my insurance company on the phone to find some assistance and they 3 way called the hospital as it is recommended I got thru an assessment for medical detox. Hopefully I can do this out patient as I'm concerned about losing my job as well as the stigma attached
They said don't stop drinking before this assessment as it could be very dangerous for my health. I made the appointment!
Beginning to feel hopeful but i am very scared...more scared than I have ever been in my life about anything
I told my story to my best friend, my son's and my sister...seems it's been common knowledge...my OVER drinking which is just massive amounts.
Seems kinda strange no one every said anything to...just let keep going. It's not their responsibility. My friend said but your so functional??? well I don't feel functional and have not for a while...it's like I'm hanging on by a tread...Hoping i don't do or say something really stupid. But I done and said some really stupid things the past 8 months.
I printed a list of AA meetings in my area...There is one every day of the week at a few different churches! Working up the courage to attend..Probably wait till I go the my assessment meeting next week.
My son confided in me he has been addicted to heroin
Thant's all for now except....
I am so sick of feel anxious all the time
I am so sick of being afraid all the time
I am so sick of making bad choices
I am so sick of waiting to get home to drink
I am so sick of having lost joy in life
I am so sick of vomiting every morning
I am so sick of wondering what I said the night before or did
I so sick of being me
I am so sick of planning my life around getting drunk and drinking
I am so sick of avoiding people and my family so i can drink
I am so sick of being ashamed every day
I am so sick of hating myself and feeling like I should be gone
I am so sick of not being able to communicate because my brain is getting fried
Hang on help is on the way.......
details. My person got my insurance company on the phone to find some assistance and they 3 way called the hospital as it is recommended I got thru an assessment for medical detox. Hopefully I can do this out patient as I'm concerned about losing my job as well as the stigma attached
They said don't stop drinking before this assessment as it could be very dangerous for my health. I made the appointment!
Beginning to feel hopeful but i am very scared...more scared than I have ever been in my life about anything
I told my story to my best friend, my son's and my sister...seems it's been common knowledge...my OVER drinking which is just massive amounts.
Seems kinda strange no one every said anything to...just let keep going. It's not their responsibility. My friend said but your so functional??? well I don't feel functional and have not for a while...it's like I'm hanging on by a tread...Hoping i don't do or say something really stupid. But I done and said some really stupid things the past 8 months.
I printed a list of AA meetings in my area...There is one every day of the week at a few different churches! Working up the courage to attend..Probably wait till I go the my assessment meeting next week.
My son confided in me he has been addicted to heroin
Thant's all for now except....
I am so sick of feel anxious all the time
I am so sick of being afraid all the time
I am so sick of making bad choices
I am so sick of waiting to get home to drink
I am so sick of having lost joy in life
I am so sick of vomiting every morning
I am so sick of wondering what I said the night before or did
I so sick of being me
I am so sick of planning my life around getting drunk and drinking
I am so sick of avoiding people and my family so i can drink
I am so sick of being ashamed every day
I am so sick of hating myself and feeling like I should be gone
I am so sick of not being able to communicate because my brain is getting fried
Hang on help is on the way.......
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