seeing it in black and white

So, not feeling good--have no internet at home right now, but trying to make do at work and the library. Tired after dealing with crap all weekend, his birthday of course did not work out--his older daughter made other plans because he wouldn't commit to any kind of time line, so I had my niece and my son and his girlfriend over--T. didn't even bother to show up until about 10. Anyway, I have an abscessed tooth which is giving me a fit, so I'm not feeling so hot anyway.
 
Long story short, the kids decided it would be fun to go through the old pictures in the box I have that I haven't gotten around to putting in albums yet. They laughed about how much everyone has changed and about the styles of hair, etc from way back then, but it really struck me seeing the tremendous changes in me over the years. Yes, I realize I am getting older and having three kids can be tiring for anyone, but I'm talking about looking at pictures of me with the kids prior to moving in with him and then immediately afterwards. I was so happy; I cared what I looked like; I was always bright and smiling--then, when Alyssa was just 3 months old we moved in together (he and I) and the changes are so astounding--pictures who me tired, sickly, and not really putting myself together. Coincidence? Nope. But mostly it is sad for me to see the evidence in pictures.