second try see if it works

well realy not feeling good almost lasted two days .....but it wasent easey ....can't do a nother day so tomorow I go see my son ......have to visit and not stay alone ......I go through this once a year ....I might feel very bad tonight ...actualy ..I am not feeling as bad as I was when I was going to rite this ...jurnal ...I talked ...to ....some friends ...........I rote a post in the ...depreshion board ....I don't know what people art going to take in from it I hope they get it ......and nderstandunderstand .....there is no judgment ...in any thing I said ....just a vision of somthing we schould work on as a group ...........I love me family they are my strength ......I over flow with love for them .............all of them all the time ...........how can I be depressed .....my mother thought me how to love ..and not just how to love but how to love unconditionally .....and she always had a joke ready to get you all laughing ....I know ...what happened to me to make me depresed ....it just isent somthing that can be talked about with just anyone ....I have a large family ....and some ...belive that I belive what I tell them ...the others know that I know what is going to tell them is going to happen ..if they don't do what o say it will happen ...if ...situation I can do somthing about .....they belive me ...........I think I am playing with death ..in here ...I have been letting little bits of it fall out ...here and there .....small doses ....but I am going to right a book .....and than ..you will all know who I am ....that will take some time ......I would like to use some things from in here but no names .....and nothing personal ......I have to start painting my brothers front pages of his novel ....so he will have it when he is ready to ....publish ..........I am very tired ......I need sleep ...good night God bless