Second Entry

I'm so grateful to this site for just being here.  Yesterday was my first day of being on this site.  Before yesterday I knew there was something missing in my life but I didn't know what it was.  I thought maybe I could find it on the internet chatting with guys my age but now I know what it was.  I now know that I was missing being able to talk to people about what it is like to live with a TBI.  I've never actually known anyone that has experienced a TBI other then myself because most of the TBI patients that I've found are adults or teens and I was a child when it happened.  
  Other then my family everyone else through out my life has looked at me like I'm a freak.  Just because I don't look like the normal kid and now adult I'm not a person and I don't deserve respect.  Of course whenever I go anywhere people stare at me because my right arm and hand are usually up and in front of me. 
Today I was at Barnes & Noble and I was working on my computer and like everytime that I go out there were people looking, staring at me but I know that I can't do anything about this.  Then I get this horrible blinding pain in my stomach and my head were the only thing I can do is to put my head down on the table and try to breath through it.  I get these pains a lot that's way I'm on the drugs I am but they're not working...nothing's working.  I'm just afraid if something doesn't start to work soon I'm going to end up back in the hospital again having another surgery.