Second Entry
My second attempt at writing this second entry. I don't know if writing this journal is helping or hurting.As I feel overcome with sadness when trying to do so.
I have gone through the phase of crying all the time years ago. I tried to push down the sad feelings and make myself do what I absolutely needed to get done.Most of the time I succeed.
The term "survivor" is an appropriate word for how I feel right now. Years ago when I read the word in his obituary it seemed odd.
But , surviving and not truly living is what I have been doing. The realization of this frightens me.
Crying again , I can't keep doing this. It just hurts too much. Lisa
I have gone through the phase of crying all the time years ago. I tried to push down the sad feelings and make myself do what I absolutely needed to get done.Most of the time I succeed.
The term "survivor" is an appropriate word for how I feel right now. Years ago when I read the word in his obituary it seemed odd.
But , surviving and not truly living is what I have been doing. The realization of this frightens me.
Crying again , I can't keep doing this. It just hurts too much. Lisa
Replies
Lisa . . I totally understand. Surviving and not fully living. However, this is how the healing journey begins. We must survive those early days of raw grief. Eventually we come to realize that living a life of quiet desperation doesn\'t work, so we do all we can in our power to overcome that and find ourselves again. We rebuild our lives and re-invent self. However, this takes time my friend. Right now you are indeed in survival mode and that\'s okay. Remember your tears are healing tears. They are cathartic. Journaling is a great way to let your emotions out and express them. Please don\'t try to stuff and repress them . . it will prolong your grief. Beyond that, when we hold our emotions in for too long it turns into deep depression. We don\'t need to add insult to injury. Be gentle with self and make room for your sadness. It\'s okay to \"feel\". Hugs, Dayna
D,
Thanks for the kind words . I will try to keep journaling ,But, everytime do I can\'t fun seem to function .It just hurts too much to write it all down. Lisa
Hi dear Lisa,
You are indomitable. I applaud you! Yes you do keep going and you are an inspiration. The sadness we feel is part of our loss. I lost my Ben last year, 3rd
July, he too suffered a long time with AML leukemia. It is not an easy journey,
But we can still feel joyful moments.
In my thoughts and sending hugs your way....Dandra