Second, 1st attempt to start this journal
Ok, so I have never been a big journal-er and have always wanted to be because I know it helps work out problems within. I guess after a morning like I've had, which as been pretty life changing mentally, It's now not that difficult to do.
I woke up this morning to the worst nightmare I could ever imagine. My daughter was murdered in our room while she was asleep. The dream as it lead up to this event was me being present and had a mix of things that had actually happened before but, I wasn't the one drunk this time. There were men that I did know and some that I didn't. now some of the details are fading away, as I did dream this nigh mare a little over an hour ago. But I will never forget. Right after I woke up I laid there for a few minutes then grabbed my phone and Googled dream/nightmare interpretations. What I found really hit home. **If you dream of a child's death, then it implies that you need to let go of you immaturity and start being more serious**
This just all hit home for me. Ever since I was pregnant with my daughter 4 years ago i have always wanted be able to stay strong and not drink, but haven't been able so. I could for a few weeks or so, then be right back at it again. I could never understand why. I want sobriety more than anything. And will fight as hard as I have to to achieve this goal. I would love to have someone who can relate to me and has been where I was...
I love my kids with all my heart and dont want to hurt them or lose them.
I have been sober now since April 7, 2015 (2days)
I woke up this morning to the worst nightmare I could ever imagine. My daughter was murdered in our room while she was asleep. The dream as it lead up to this event was me being present and had a mix of things that had actually happened before but, I wasn't the one drunk this time. There were men that I did know and some that I didn't. now some of the details are fading away, as I did dream this nigh mare a little over an hour ago. But I will never forget. Right after I woke up I laid there for a few minutes then grabbed my phone and Googled dream/nightmare interpretations. What I found really hit home. **If you dream of a child's death, then it implies that you need to let go of you immaturity and start being more serious**
This just all hit home for me. Ever since I was pregnant with my daughter 4 years ago i have always wanted be able to stay strong and not drink, but haven't been able so. I could for a few weeks or so, then be right back at it again. I could never understand why. I want sobriety more than anything. And will fight as hard as I have to to achieve this goal. I would love to have someone who can relate to me and has been where I was...
I love my kids with all my heart and dont want to hurt them or lose them.
I have been sober now since April 7, 2015 (2days)
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