Seafood!
My son's in-laws called me today to invite us to a seafood party. IT never fails, that no matter how many times we tell people my husband is allergic to seafood, they still keep asking! If it was fried or baked it wouldn't bother him as long as they kept other food for him to eat that was not near the seafood! But it's usually a boil and he can't be near it for more than a minute or he will start feeling sick from it! And when I even reminded my son of this he still doesn't get it! HOW LOUD OR HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL MY OWN SON THIS?!!!! No one and I mean even my husband's parents can't get it through their thick heads he is allergic to seafood! They always bring up the day when he was a toddler and he got ahold of a raw shrimp and they didn't stop him from eating it! Actually thought it was funny! It sometimes makes me feel so crazy! I can't expect that every person that hears this only once or twice to remember but a family member that has lived with him should know this! And they always say they can give him something else like a hamburger, when you just told them he can't be near a boil! And when we go to parties where my husband has to have a special food, everyone kids him and or looks at him like he's an alien with green skin or something! And little to no one even talks to us like it's contagious! LOL! So I have to look like an antisocial snob or something and turn down the invite. And all i can say is that he probably has to work anyway since he has two jobs. We don't go on vacations for that reason mostly but also because my husband is trying to save up for a nicer house in a better neighborhood. The area we live in now is going to the dogs or should I say the criminals! Sorry I'm digressing but I am so tired of feeling bad for refusing these gatherings! Why can't people have a plain old bar-b-que?!!! We would love to come even if we knew you burned the meat everytime! LOL! And what also might make us look bad is we don't invite anyone other than the kids at our house because my husband uses the house for all his projects and business. I don't even have a sofa right now! My daughter broke two of my bar stools before she grew up and we just decided that we would buy anything till we got a new house to put it in. So that means seating is limited. And if that isn't bad enough we also decide not to paint and replace old floors till we were ready to sell this house. So the house looks like crap warmed over! LOL! My floors look so bad only I know I sweep and mop on a regular basis! LOL! And the only time I mind is when somebody unexpectedly shows up at my door! The only comfortable seat is mine cause I have arthritis and had to have something other than my bed that I could relax in! And that is where everyone goes without a thought to where I will sit for the two or three hours they are visiting us! I've had my drink next to chair and a book on the seat and they just move it without asking even before I can close the front door and direct them to a seat! Am I selfish and a bad hostest for thinking like this? I would love to be able to invite someone over and enjoy their company in my home! All my life everything has always had to be put on hold. And like I said, I wouldn't mind so much if everyone would understand why I don't go places or have get togethers at our house. OK, so now that I got my pitty party over with, I hope and pray all my friends are well and happy!
Replies
Do the best you can. Life is short . Don\'t fret over the little stuff not worth it in the end anyway. Good luck
Janette................. :-)
You have nothing to be ashamed about, you do the best you can with what you have. You are kind, considerate, compassionate, caring, loving, empathic,.... this list goes on and on!!! All this is worth so much more than anything else. So people just choose not to hear what we are saying to them no matter how often you tell them. You have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. Your husband is working his little cotton socks off, trying to get enough money together to get a better life for you and his family. I admire his strength and determination. You have so much going for you, that other people lack. Besides which, I think you are the most wonderful friend, I\'m glad you are in my life. You are so valuable to me, and as precious as gold.
YOU KNOW I DON\'T GET IT HOW PEOPLE DON\'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE REAL ALLERGIC REACTIONS TO FOOD. IT CAN BE VERY SERIOUS & SOMETIMES LIFE THREATENING. STEVEN IS ALLERGIC TO BELL PEPPERS.EVEN A PIECE AS BIG AS A GRAIN OF SALT MAKES HIM SICK. DON\'T FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR HOUSE... PEOPLE SHOULD COME TO SEE YOU NOT YOUR HOUSE....ANYONE THAT TAKES YOUR SEAT WHEN THEY COME OVER IS JUST RUDE & INCONSIDERATE PLAIN & SIMPLE. ONE DAY WHEN YOU GET YOUR NEW HOUSE YOU CAN HAVE GET TOGETHERS & HAVE COMPANY OVER ALL THE TIME.JUST BE PATIENT EVERYTHING YOU WANT WILL HAPPEN.
Thank you ladies for the lovely comments! They make me feel alot better! : )
I am the same way this house needs alot of work but we wont do it we are waiting for a new house. The carpet is so stained from the dogs everyone tells us we need to rip it up and put wood flooring down. But we dont want to spend the money on this old rundown thing. It would actually be an ok house but we are just growing out of it. Its so cluttered.
Dont worry about it you can only do what you can i used to hate people unexpectedly showing up at the door but now i have come to see it as they know i had 2nd back surgery last year and i can only do so much.
You are doing what you can..and its up to you if you have people over or not. No one elses business. As to your husbands allergy..sometimes its hard to understand how things are..if you havent been there before. I know..thats no excuse..and it must hurt..since its your son and his family..but you know..our kids just dont always get everything. To them..mom and dad are ok..and thats that. They dont want to know much more..they have their own lives to contend with and that can be enough sometimes. Take care of yourselves..all of you!!!