Scream
I want to scream. I want to cry!
I am feeling so alone in this world. How are you meant to go on without your Mum?
There is not many that understand what it is like to be in this club. Adult orphans. There seems to be no good in this life at all. When one person after another gets taken away.
I can not hear you Mum, I can not feel you, I can not call you anymore. Life just sucks.
I feel guilty about the whole ordeal. I am plagued by the guilt that I could have done more or that it was my fault in the first place that you died so soon. We honestly did not believe that you would pass away from this. I kept feeling that you still had another 15yrs at least. Why did you get taken away as well as Dad. I was too young to really realize the effects of Dad. I do not think that I have dealt with it properly at all.
I want to go and leave this world and if it was not for my daughter I most likely would. I can not put her through this utter pain. Although she is young and everyone keeps saying that she does not understand. So would she understand if I was gone.
The utter gut wrenching pain is unbearable.
Replies
Hi -I'm so sorry for your pain. I understand it though because I lost my mom too in May and I feel the same as you do and have wanted to give up. I just can't imagine how I'm going to continue with the rest of my life without my mom in it as she has always been in my life until 3 mos ago.
I don't have anything to say that will make things better, but I would like you to know that I do care about you and hope that what time you will be a little better. I hope the same for myself.
Joy
Sorry Joy for your loss too.
I have no answers.
I am very numb to this world. No one around that understands. I miss her so much it literally hurts.
X