Scheduling Confusions

Eldest son is quite bent that I am not already at the Urban Homestead, putting together the birthday party for his Significant Other. The SO and I have been discussing it. So far as I can tell, she is okay with celebrating this weekend when I plan to be in town to meet with the bro/sis-in-law. I have shared formal family events with the SIL for 30+ years and am embarrassed to say I only found out this week that her birthday is this week, also. I find myself pretty tickled at the notion of honoring both women at the same time. It is a unique precedent in my own understanding of my husband's Man Clan. My granddaughter was the first girl born into his family since 1912. Even she was a fluke. She had 4(?) brothers and no sisters. Can we call that a literal Man Clan? No social commentary. Just physical fact. Hanging out with my in-laws has often felt like hanging out in a boy's locker room. I think. I haven't hung out in enough boy's locker rooms for certainty but 5 brothers offer some clues. What I am sure of is that I still don't get their family event planning style. The MIL was an amazing event planner. Easily pro league. Everybody else looks like resistant employees. "What's the deadline for responding to that memo?" Looks like. . . Repeat: I still don't get the in-law family traditions. My own family traditions are worthy of the estrangement I have given them. God, please save us all.

This time I wonder if ES's absolute certainty that I am being pointlessly stubborn about putting my work above family confusion. The only living things at risk up here at this stage are the Vick's Plants. I have been on a propagation binge with them and the new starts need near daily attention. Most of them would probably survive the 5 to 6 day absence to be in the Urban Homestead for both events. I have plenty of base stock to propagate anew. I have no scheduled jobs up here this week and am not doing too well staying focused on any of the ongoing projects. I am feeling the isolation something fierce. Still, I find myself terrified of sliding back to the family business as usual, however you choose to describe all that. Can you clarify that job description for me? "Not working" feels like entirely too much invalidated work to me, especially in the presence of middle aged children who take the "not working" part literally, based on observations through closed bedroom doors. They sure can howl about the sound of a "not working" vaccuum cleaner, any hour of the day or night. Not my favorite music, either, my middle aged cherub. Just preferable to breathing dander accumulations in my humble opine.

This scheduling conflict presented last week. My first thought was to blow off the in-laws. Odds are they won't show, anyway. They have scheduled on occassion, but neither brother has slowed down for drive-by wavings in the 37 years I have known them. I attempted independant contact with the SIL in the years before hubs and I nearly divorced, but there was zero response. I am still letting that mystery be. I am open to new precedent, but not holding my breath. Hubs believes they will show this time. In Hubs I trust?

Sorting. . . Letting God lead The Dance.