Scared to Death

Had our first meeting with a financial advisor last week with another scheduled for next week with a mediator involved.  She wanted the divorce.  Said we grew apart.  I am reading, praying-anything I can do to try and survive.  I feel like my faith is strong yet I can't shake this fear I have of the unknown.  Does that make me a bad christian because I fear these things when I need to leave them in God's hands to work them out however He sees fit so that I live the life he wants me to live?  I know I an afraid of the stbx because she is cruel and vulgar.  We can't have a discussion because she yells at me in a "how dare you" tone then says "fuck you" right to my face.  Just like 18 years of marriage, no discussion-only her telling me how it's going to be.  We are in the same house (I sleep in the basement) until this whole mess is over.  Our two daughters don't realize that I'm just trying to survive while Mom is angry, vile and mean.  I am now going to go read the Bible (I slept with it on my chest last night).  I will continue to pray for courage, strength, clarity and wisdom.  Any feedback would be appreciated.