Scared Sick
Aug 7th, 2012 2:38am
I'm absolutely terrified for my poor sister. She has a huge 10 cm (yes! that's over 4 inches - bigger than your hand) cyst in/on her ovary and has to have surgery. She lives in Florida and I'm in Mass so I'll fly down.
Then she was supposed to get a CyberKnife (some type of radiation) on the growing tumor in her left ear (the tumor in her right ear isn't growing so they ignore it) TODAY at 1pm!! I've been biting my nails all day. Turns out that the doctor said the tumor was pressed too close to her spine and he thought her surgeon should cut some out first. Problem is, her surgeon told her he wouldn't operate since it would probably paralyze her left side of body/face and she wouldn't be able to talk or lead a normal life. She's only 46 and lives alone. Has NO close friends and only an uncle in CT. I'm her sister by choice, not biology. We've been friends/sisters for 42 years now and I love her more than my own siblings!
So now she has to go in for surgery on the cyst probably at the end of August. Then after she heals, she has to go back and hopefully, the surgeon will cut some of the tumor. Then to the Cyber surgeon. Then 5 doses of radiation. I'm planning on flying back down for the 2nd (and 3rd) surgeries since one, she'll be ALONe. And two, she has 4 conures (parrot like birds) and 2 cats and fish and all that. Boarding them is very expensive (over $1000/day!!!!) so I'll go down and take care of them while she's in the hospital. And of course, visit her and support her. And take care of her when she gets home.
My biggest fear is that I'll lose her. I can't bear the thought so I'll move on.
Another fear is that since I'm sick myself, I won't be strong enough to take care of her. My husband and I had a bad fight Sat and I've been sick since. Had a really, really, really bad pancreas attack today from 5pm to 2am. I'm TeRRIFIeD (my e won't capitalize) that I won't be able to take care of her.
So obviously, stop fighting with hubby. Then try to be extra careful of body/pancreas/liver/etc. But even so I fear there will be bad days, like I still have now and I haven't felt so good in years.
I wonder if anyone else has tricks. How do I prepare my body and mind and emotions for the long haul? I flew down to see her in Nov 2011 (first time in 7 YeARS!!) and it just about put me in the hospital. I thought I'd have to go from the airport to the brig, I mean hospital.
I do feel better now but I KNOW it will drain me to fly down. And be in someone else's space. Her tub sucks and no hot water (that's FL for you). And no door on the spare room. She got a bad birdseed batch and now has moths all over. I hate them! And cats, which I love but am allergic to.
I'm freaking out. How can I patch myself up enough to help her? Sad Nibs for sure.
I'm absolutely terrified for my poor sister. She has a huge 10 cm (yes! that's over 4 inches - bigger than your hand) cyst in/on her ovary and has to have surgery. She lives in Florida and I'm in Mass so I'll fly down.
Then she was supposed to get a CyberKnife (some type of radiation) on the growing tumor in her left ear (the tumor in her right ear isn't growing so they ignore it) TODAY at 1pm!! I've been biting my nails all day. Turns out that the doctor said the tumor was pressed too close to her spine and he thought her surgeon should cut some out first. Problem is, her surgeon told her he wouldn't operate since it would probably paralyze her left side of body/face and she wouldn't be able to talk or lead a normal life. She's only 46 and lives alone. Has NO close friends and only an uncle in CT. I'm her sister by choice, not biology. We've been friends/sisters for 42 years now and I love her more than my own siblings!
So now she has to go in for surgery on the cyst probably at the end of August. Then after she heals, she has to go back and hopefully, the surgeon will cut some of the tumor. Then to the Cyber surgeon. Then 5 doses of radiation. I'm planning on flying back down for the 2nd (and 3rd) surgeries since one, she'll be ALONe. And two, she has 4 conures (parrot like birds) and 2 cats and fish and all that. Boarding them is very expensive (over $1000/day!!!!) so I'll go down and take care of them while she's in the hospital. And of course, visit her and support her. And take care of her when she gets home.
My biggest fear is that I'll lose her. I can't bear the thought so I'll move on.
Another fear is that since I'm sick myself, I won't be strong enough to take care of her. My husband and I had a bad fight Sat and I've been sick since. Had a really, really, really bad pancreas attack today from 5pm to 2am. I'm TeRRIFIeD (my e won't capitalize) that I won't be able to take care of her.
So obviously, stop fighting with hubby. Then try to be extra careful of body/pancreas/liver/etc. But even so I fear there will be bad days, like I still have now and I haven't felt so good in years.
I wonder if anyone else has tricks. How do I prepare my body and mind and emotions for the long haul? I flew down to see her in Nov 2011 (first time in 7 YeARS!!) and it just about put me in the hospital. I thought I'd have to go from the airport to the brig, I mean hospital.
I do feel better now but I KNOW it will drain me to fly down. And be in someone else's space. Her tub sucks and no hot water (that's FL for you). And no door on the spare room. She got a bad birdseed batch and now has moths all over. I hate them! And cats, which I love but am allergic to.
I'm freaking out. How can I patch myself up enough to help her? Sad Nibs for sure.
Replies
Nibs,
I am so sorry for all that you have going on and the condition of your sister. I really want you to consider you overall health as well. Making decisions is one part, but making yourself sick and really not being able to help is only going to make it worse. Have you tried all avenues in helping out some with the animals at least. I am so worried that in your condition you will not be able to handle the trips and the long days, along with animals. Please don\'t take this wrong, I don\'t know how sick you are, but that sounds like a lot to deal with. Can we talk about it maybe for some ideas or thoughts? Hugs!!!
Nibs, I\'m so sorry for what you are facing. Does she have good neighbor that could help with the pets? I\'m sure you will find the strength to be there for your sister. When you have had time to digest all this horrible news about your sister. You will be able to think of ways to help her. Right know it\'s just so over whelming. But take care of yourself first so you will able to help. Your Black Lab Friend.... Brian
Hi Nibs..my goodness..my thoughts & prayers to you all. Honestly i can only say this..do what you feel is right...and...good for you. If there is any way to pace yourself while your there do it!..No Phones unless there is News that needs to be discussed. Sit, relax, and above all..\"Just Be\"..allow YOU time. You are not responsible for anyone but you & your sister. If updates are needed..you can always leave it on the phone voice recording. By all means take your meds. Call your support. Hugs
Sus