scared
Well i saw the specialist today. Apparently women with the blood clotting disorder i have usually have multiple miscarriages in a row. And i will have to inject myself daily below my stomach with blood thinners next time i get pregnant. But the good news is that this specialist isn't sure that i actually have this disorder, so hes testing me again in a month.
So until then I'll be terrified and anxious. I'm just so MAD. if they had found out before i lost Sophia they could have saved her and i wouldn't be worrying so much about my next pergnancy. We were almost there. I'm so scared that I'll never have a healthy pregnancy. What would i do if i lost another baby? This isn't fair.
I don't understand this at all. I don't understand why i was given a baby only to have her snatched away. I didn't even want kids before i got pregnant, I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS?! why would god give me a baby and take her away right when i allowed myself to believe that she would be ok.
And to ice the cake when i told my sister she told me if i ever win the lottery that she'd carry a baby for me. That made me want to cry. i know she meant well but i'm not ready to give up and it hurts so much to think of not being able to have any children on my own. It makes me feel like such a failure as a woman and mother. If i had to choose one thing in the world to have it would be a family. I never would have said that b4 Sophia, but I've changed alot.
But i do love you Sophia, and as soon as i knew you were here i wanted you so much, thats why it hurts so bad. And i do understand that i'm learning a lesson, i'm just not happy about it. xoxo Angel Girl
So until then I'll be terrified and anxious. I'm just so MAD. if they had found out before i lost Sophia they could have saved her and i wouldn't be worrying so much about my next pergnancy. We were almost there. I'm so scared that I'll never have a healthy pregnancy. What would i do if i lost another baby? This isn't fair.
I don't understand this at all. I don't understand why i was given a baby only to have her snatched away. I didn't even want kids before i got pregnant, I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS?! why would god give me a baby and take her away right when i allowed myself to believe that she would be ok.
And to ice the cake when i told my sister she told me if i ever win the lottery that she'd carry a baby for me. That made me want to cry. i know she meant well but i'm not ready to give up and it hurts so much to think of not being able to have any children on my own. It makes me feel like such a failure as a woman and mother. If i had to choose one thing in the world to have it would be a family. I never would have said that b4 Sophia, but I've changed alot.
But i do love you Sophia, and as soon as i knew you were here i wanted you so much, thats why it hurts so bad. And i do understand that i'm learning a lesson, i'm just not happy about it. xoxo Angel Girl
Replies
I find some of the women on here to be very inspiring about trying again. Some of them have had 10 pregnancies but only 2 living children, it\'s women like that, that make me realize the trying is worth it. I know if we loose a few more babies (I pray I don\'t) but I would try a few more times before giving up. If the doctors know what is wrong that is even better, they can control it. I hope she was wrong about the disorder but if not I know some women on here have the same thing and have healthy living children. Don\'t give up, trust that it will happen. Hugs
I think you should do what you think is best for you, not worrying about anyone else, if you think you\'d regret not trying, you should try. If you want to wait a while, wait, (but don\'t think the fear will ever lessen) do whatever is in your heart to do. Drs talk with statistics and likelihood of whatever happens, but if they say 1 in 20, or whatever, that means you have 19 in 20 chance of a healthy little baby!! Maybe you should ask what it means by \'usually\' miscarrying, so you know for sure what the risk is. It\'s sweet of your sister to offer her uterus, but I know what you mean, it\'s not the same... we\'re all here to support you whatever you decide to do. Sending hugs
I have the blood clotting disorder Prothrombin gene mutation (or Factor II). I was tested in the hospital after I lost my precious Emily. They had you meet with a specialist before they tested you? I just met with mine Wednesday, I posted it in my profile under journal. I will have to give myself injections every day beginning when we start trying to get pregnant with the blood thinner Lovenox. The last month they will switch me to heparin.
I don\'t want to have this either, but I am trying to hope these injections will help me to have a baby when we decide to try (prbly this June).
I feel bitter about the medical community letting all of us down, I totally understand what you are saying. Why weren\'t we told of these possible disorders and given the opportunity to decide whether or not to be tested. I don\'t know anyone that wouldn\'t pay for a stupid blood test to have their baby here with them.
My blood disorder can cause multiple miscarriages also, if this is the one they think you have message me and I will tell you more about it along with symptoms and so on...
I think trying is worth again is worth it. Just hang in there.I believe God will gave you your rainbow baby.