Sayonara Reality
I almost ended my life today. I mean I really tried. I wanted it to be over. I sit here now and I still want to. This pain is just too great.
The only thing that stops me is what if I try and I still make it but I'm fucked up the rest of my life. In a wheelchair, or a vegetable. Guess it wouldn't matter though. I'd be without the pain.
I remember I was just going to plow into a power pole. I got up to 180k's and then my car just stopped. She overboiled and I was in the middle of this T-intersection. Then 3 guys on bikes pull up behind me and I'm just like, oh you have gotta be kidding.
I should've died. I should've slammed into that pole with enough force that there was no way I could've lived. And yet something spared me. Maybe it's God, telling me it's not my time. But maybe it's the devil, taunting me.
I'm so over all this pain. I'm just going to be medicated 24/7. Cause it's not fair that I have to deal with this stupid crap. Everyone has their vices, their alcohol, their spirituality, their drugs, whatever. I have my vice and it's falling into a daze. It's the only way I can survive this. I've already pushed all my friends away.
Why am I not good enough? The first guy I feel something for in so long and I just... am not enough for him. I'm not even worth a second date. He didn't even bother to get to know me. So I'm done. This is me signing out of reality. Cause reality is a shithole, and it'll get me killed.
The only thing that stops me is what if I try and I still make it but I'm fucked up the rest of my life. In a wheelchair, or a vegetable. Guess it wouldn't matter though. I'd be without the pain.
I remember I was just going to plow into a power pole. I got up to 180k's and then my car just stopped. She overboiled and I was in the middle of this T-intersection. Then 3 guys on bikes pull up behind me and I'm just like, oh you have gotta be kidding.
I should've died. I should've slammed into that pole with enough force that there was no way I could've lived. And yet something spared me. Maybe it's God, telling me it's not my time. But maybe it's the devil, taunting me.
I'm so over all this pain. I'm just going to be medicated 24/7. Cause it's not fair that I have to deal with this stupid crap. Everyone has their vices, their alcohol, their spirituality, their drugs, whatever. I have my vice and it's falling into a daze. It's the only way I can survive this. I've already pushed all my friends away.
Why am I not good enough? The first guy I feel something for in so long and I just... am not enough for him. I'm not even worth a second date. He didn't even bother to get to know me. So I'm done. This is me signing out of reality. Cause reality is a shithole, and it'll get me killed.
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