Say What!?
I didn't write an entry yesterday, wasn't feeling up to it. I had a key work session at Day Patients yesterday afternoon. My key worker has only just started working at the unit I go to but apparently he's worked in other units.Well, I've mentioned before how I find it hard to talk. Having someone new as my key worker makes it even more so but I am trying. I didn't think I was doing too badly either...BUT...it seems I'm am.He seems really pissed that I've said I can talk to my therapist easier than anyone else, surely that should be expected??? One thing he keeps going on at me about eye contact which, I don't even give my therapist! I HATE making eye contact. I don't know why I've just never liked it. I've heard this can be a common trait in people with BPD. The other thing that seems to frustrate him is the fact that I don't show any emotion. I guess I look a bit...cut off? It's not something I'm conciously thinking about though, I don't know why I do it. It's almost like a defence mechanism I'm just like O_O .So yesterday at the end of my appointment with him (which I thought went OK). He brought up the fact I show no emotion, don't talk about 'feelings' and give no eye contact and then said in these exact words "I don't know where the fuck I am with you half the time." He was really quite....aggressive? Don't know if that's the right word. Maybe more intimidating. It made me really uncomfortable anyway. I've been thinking about whether I tell my therapist about it though because I've only recently told him that I find it uncomfortable to be around men because of past experiences (shouting/abuse/violence etc) but I'm trying to learn to be trusting again. Him acting in this way doesn't help me at all. The problem is, I don't want to make things worse.....I don't know what to do....
Replies
hey I dont think he shoulf of spoke to you in that way. i mean they are there to help you so if he is making you feel uncomfortable or you think he is being rude then maybe you could see out seeing another person? x
was meant to write..maybe you could find out about seeing another person.. sorry x
He has absolutely NO right to speak to or treat you like that. He must\'ve missed that class on \"professionalism\" in University.
Nobody says you\'re going to \"click\" (or even LIKE) a new worker. I would go straight to his supervisor & file a complaint about his misconduct.... AND request someone else as your key worker. You don\'t want to have to deal with an a**hole like that on a continual basis as it sure would be counter-productive I\'m sure!
I think you should tell your therapist how he spoke to you and how he is making you uncomfortable. You are not going to get anywhere with that kind of treatment.
Whose in charge of the whole thing hon? like he is not being at all what you need from a person in a position to try and help, i would report him if i was you, if someone did that with me i would consider it being a form of bullying and im not making a joke cos people can be seriously affected by this sort of behaviour. im so sorry you had to go through that, what a joke, you need to bring it to someone\'s attention and switch groups or something see what you can do to help you k. *hug*
You\'ve got to be kidding me. No one should talk to you like that ever, especially someone who Is suppose to be helping you, get a new key worker and report this person.
Good luck :)
hi, tell your therapist and refuse to deal with this so called \'key worker\' and best of luck to you, you deserve better than this ~hugs~
hey i can related to this and cannot work with men, when in treatment. Talk to your psychologist and ask if they can refer you to someone else, they have to be someone you feel comfortable with so you can work with them xx
Its better that it happened now instead of opening up and realizing he\'s an a hole later, switch him and get someone you know you might be able to open up with. Due to the bad experience you\'ve had with men, its best you find a female (key worker) to help. Good luck hon don\'t let this key worker keep you down.
You really need to tell your therapist about this idiot key worker. He is absolutely unqualified to work with people with emotional problems if he makes you feel like crap and throws the f-bomb around.
That\'s why you are in therapy to learn how to express feelings in a healthy way. If you already knew how to you wouldn\'t need his sorry butt. And I also have the same problem with eye contact. It\'s really hard and embarrassing for me. So I hope you request a new key worker.
Thank you to everyone for your help. I\'m going to try and talk to my therapist about it. Just need to pluck up the courage to ask to see him. Thanks again x
yeah...you need a different worker.....that was totally wrong what he said to you....stick up for yourself and dont take this shit from him....its your mental health thats at stake here...make sure someone knows what he said to you and hopefully he will learn that he cant treat people like this....bug [[[hugs]]] to you hun....