Saving myself from drowing

I am a former member here....been a member since 2007...I DECIDED TO REJOIN TO MEET MORE PEOPLE WHO IS GOING THROUGH THE SAME THINGS AS I AM. I RESENTLY LOSS MY FATHER JULY 20TH OF THIS YR..WAS BUT WAS NOT PREPARED..IM TRYING TO MOVE FOWARD BUT THERE ARE JUST SOME BARRIERS I CANT FIGHT....THIS IS TERRIBLY HARD