Saturday morning,woke up breathless and in pain

Good morning journal,the time is 9:49am,I have been awake for around an hour or so,I woke up with a vicious bout of coughing,unable to catch my breath and with my whole body convulsing like a jack in the box just released from his prison.I let our dogs out back when I finally managed to get out of bed,the morning air outside is beautifully fresh,but only helped my attempts to breathe very minimally,it is a very frightening feeling trying to simply breathe and being unable to without the use of an inhaler,and even when I did resort to that,I was,and still am,very short of breath.I have rescue inhalers everywhere,in the coat pockets of my jackets in case I change coats and forget to put one in,on my nightstand,and in the kitchen,everywhere I turn,I'm falling over the blessed things!,but they are becoming more necessary with each passing day.As I look out of our lounge window from my desk,I can see that the early morning sunshine and the lightest breeze coupled with a sky of the palest color of blue holds the promise of another beautiful day,something we British are not used to over any lengthy period of time.My wife however is American,and she is used to much hotter Summer weather than we get here in England,coming from Virginia,she is used to temperatures in the ninety's,so this is like early Springtime to her.As the weather heats up however,it leaves me struggling for breath on a daily basis,and this morning my throat is agonizingly painful,this may be as a result of the spasmodic bouts of coughing,or it may be that I am beginning to come down with something,and these days even a mild cold can result in more serious complications for me.Yesterday morning,I went to our local hospital to have yet more blood drawn to see if the metformin I have recently started taking is having any effect on my blood sugar count,the nurse couldn't get any blood from my arms as every time she put the needle in my veins crashed and collapsed.Finally,she found a vein in my left wrist and managed to siphon enough blood for the tests required.She asked me if I had low blood pressure,I said probably as I have had recently,she then asked"well what was the reading this morning?",I said"I haven't got a clue,I don't have a blood pressure monitor at home". She just said"oh",and that was it,she didn't take my blood pressure to confirm or deny her suspicions,and I left with a plaster on my wrist none the wiser.From the hospital I caught a bus and went to my doctors office to collect the letter he had drafted for me in support of my appeal for disabled living allowance,it is a very nice letter,very supportive,and hopefully it will help when I go to my appeal hearing on June 25th,we will just have to wait and see.At the moment,my ribs hurt and my lungs are struggling to take in enough air to allow me to breathe comfortably on my own,but,it is what it is,and I'll deal with it the best way I can,hopefully it will ease somewhat as the day transpires.Trying to breathe unaided leaves me very tired,my body feels limp and virtually useless,and even a simple act like standing up is a huge effort for me today,in eleven days time I will celebrate birthday number fifty eight,and looking back to this time last year when I celebrated my fifty seventh birthday,I am both saddened and stunned at the rapid deterioration in my mental and physical well being.Last June,I was still working,and I continued to do so up until my collapse at work on July 27th,from that date I have gone downhill at an ever increasing rate,and,much as it pains me to admit it,the downhill trend continues,leaving me frustrated and angry,not to mention completely helpless and seemingly unable to halt or delay the deterioration of my mind and body.Again,if I'm being brutally honest,I had been aware that I was ill for some time before my collapse,but being the stubborn old polecat that I am,I ignored the warnings that my body was giving me until it finally said,"okay,your not listening so I'm shutting down",and it did,now today,I am forced to listen to what my mind and body are saying,I left it too late before asking for help,so now I have to shuffle along as best I can.When I spoke to my doctor on Wednesday,he suggested that a mobility scooter might be something that would be a help to me,it is like a battery operated golf cart,but sadly,like most things in my life today,I can't afford to buy one,perhaps if my appeal goes favorably that might change,again,only time will tell.Anyway,enough of my ramblings,I don't mean to sound sorry for myself and I'm not usually the type of guy who sits for long on his pity pot,so it's time to get off it and live the rest of this day being grateful for the positive things that I have in my life,so,until the next time journal,may peace and just a little easier breathing,along with the love of my Father in Heaven,go with us.