Saturday morning,my fight goes on,but there is hope

Good morning journal,the time is now 8:35am,I have just awakened after thirteen hours of uninterrupted sleep,I retired to bed last evening at 7:00pm,I was so exhausted with the effort of the days tasks that I could not even face dinner.This morning,I feel rested,but I know that around lunchtime,I will feel the need for a short nap,it is always the same after I have had to leave our home for any extended period of time. We kept our appointment with my psychiatrist,you will have noted that I use the word "my" instead of "the psychiatrist",I owe an apology to Doctor Prince,he remembered not only myself,but also my wife by name,and he apologized to us,even though it was not his fault,for the lack of a designated care worker for me. Our visit was a very productive one,he asked his questions and I answered,and he listened,.....that's all I've been asking people to do,thank you Doctor Prince,you are a gentleman,as well as a fine Doctor. In the room besides myself and my wife,there was a young lady called Christina,she met us at reception after we checked in,and,she also apologized about the lack of a care worker for me,I asked her where the gentleman we had spoken to on the telephone was,Les Walker,it turned out that he was busy but had asked Christina to meet us instead,no matter,she was very nice,if a little on the quiet side,but I could sense that she was watching me and taking mental notes. It is through talking to Christina,that we discovered that Miss Roberts was not absent from work through sickness at all,she had in fact left altogether,whether she resigned or was fired we don't know,but she has gone for good. There is a new social worker starting in a couple of weeks,and,until then,I won't have one of my own,but,and this is a really good step forward,if I need mental health for any reason,I only have to call them,or my wife can call on my behalf,and whoever is on duty will attend to me straight away,...good huh?,it makes me feel better at any rate. Anyway,back to Doctor Prince,we spoke very informally,and,he included my wife in our conversation,listened to her concerns and even asked her for her feelings on my condition,mood changes,sleep patterns,eating habits etc:,then we spoke about my daughter who passed away twenty six years ago,he was very understanding and sincere in his comments,he didn't say the words,"I know how you feel",which I was grateful for,I know people mean well,but if you haven't been where I've been,don't tell me you know how I feel,another plus mark for Doctor Prince in my eyes. Then we spoke about my voices,he listened very well,kept eye contact all of the time,and I didn't once see an expression of boredom,or sense that he thought I was crazy,he just listened. He asked about Jeremiah,and he remembered Micah and Ruth,he asked about the message Jeremiah keeps talking about,and he voiced his concern that if the message was a bad one,would I tell my wife?,I told him that apart from Jesus,my wife knows me better than any other person on the planet,I don't think I would need to actually tell her,I think she would know without me saying a word,but I said that I would tell her anyway. He was concerned that the mirtazapine that I take for depression wasn't doing the job of lifting it the way it should,so,he wrote me a prescription for a drug called venlafaxine,otherwise known as effexor,to be taken along with the mirtazapine,I take 75ml of venlafaxine along with 45ml of mirtazapine for two weeks,then I go up to 150ml of venlafaxine and keep the mirtazapine at 45ml after that,he is sending my doctor a letter to that effect,and my own doctor will prescribe it for me from now on. We also spoke about the gaps in my memory that I suffer from when I have been awake,again,he asked my wife about these,and,as there is a history of senile dementia in my family,and also,just to make sure there are no abnormal growths or shadows in my brain,he is booking me in for a brain scan,it is only a precaution,but one that I am happy to agree to. So,on the whole,I feel a great deal better about things,I was hugely impressed with Doctor Prince,and I am happy to wait a few weeks for my own personal care worker to be appointed for us,I am quite happy that they are now aware of our concerns,and that they know without doubt,how badly they messed up,that is largely due to my wife and her determination not to be fobbed off with excuses or half truth explanations,I am grateful your in my corner honey,thank you so much. I have had a brain scan before when I had my T.I.A. in 2010,I was lucky,I only had a mini stroke that left me weaker on my left side,it could have been a lot worse,but my point is,I know what to expect from a scan so I'm not all that bothered about it,that is unless they find something that shouldn't be there,but on the whole,I know it's just a routine thing. There was no follow up appointment made to see Doctor Prince,but when we asked about this,they told us that usually we would only be seen by him once a year,perhaps twice,unless there was a need to see him due to any developments or changes in my condition,if we did,he was available,and indeed,he asked us to keep him informed should anything like that occur,all in all,not a bad visit. The plan for the rest of today then is to rest as much as possible and try to regain some of the strength I used yesterday,so,with that in mind,I will leave here and go and join my wife who has woken and followed me in to our lounge,and I feel much more positive about things today,sometimes all it takes is someone to listen,who knows?,we may hear something about my claim for disability,or my wheelchair perhaps,we can only pray that we do,until then journal,we remain in the care of our Father in Heaven,thank You Lord,Thy will be done.