Saturday,April 19th,2008

It is saturday and the weather in seattle has been crazy,so have my cats.Frank always loved spring and he loved when the leaves fell.He should be here.It snowed the day before and it was cold.Frank did not like cold.Neither do I.And it is so hard to make any new friends after you are 50 in this town.Seattle is a young town and I mean it.Some of the young people here are some of the most beautiful and intelligent people around.But these people do not hang around in my neck of the woods and that is the way it always had been.I do not envy anyone who has got money today.I do not work anymore because I am hearing impaired and cannot hear very well.I lost my hearing when I moved here in the summer of 1995.We went to the fireworks here and during the last show ,I felt something pop in my head.When I awoke the next day,both of my ears were bleeding and it has not been so good ,but now things are a little better.Frank was one of my best friends and like I said,after the death of my father in 1987,my mother began to act screwy.We do not know why she began to drink,all I do know is that Frank and I could not get help for her.We were told that she is retired and it is her money and we should mind our business! Excuse me! When a parent starts to act in this manner,it is my business.I was then one who had to do almost everything.I was 48 when I left home,but I had to.Taking care of her was a strain and noone in New York wanted to help me.So I left.If you heard of anyone who does not want to take care of elderly parents,do not at all condemn them.Remember..parents should have a least a few bucks put away and if that does not happen,bills that are not yours are not your concern.Today I got up and I cried over Frank.Noone is here.He is the most cruelest person that I know and I cannot wait until the 21st.All I have now are my cats.Most of my friends here are gone.Some have died.Some moved back home.Scott moved to Wyoming.Ethel went back to Chicago.Stanley moved back to San Francisco without telling me.And noone knows where Cathy is.They havent seen her in months.I hope that she is alive and well and that I am thinking of her.She must realize that when a person does grieve that they are not selfish.I hope that she does.And I hope that anyone who has never grieved will never have to go through this private hell.