Saturday
Yeah its Sat.It's cold here have burned alot of wood this week.Have had a few bad days this week.Can't get control of my feelings.I have been doing alot of impulse buying everyday my husband says I'm breaking us.I think I do it to try and make me feel better but it doesn't really help because I'm out there the next day buying again I also do alot of buying off the internet.I CAN"T STOP!!!!!!! We painted our main bathroom a red color but I left the safari look in there spent alot of money on curtains,shower curtain and towels.Mike made me a wine rack above my bar.Looks good even tho we don't drink much wine.Mike drinks everyday since Justin has died he even admitted he was drinking to much vodka and coke or beer.I drink wine once in a blue moon but I'm on medication so I try not to. I just want to say I read everyone's journals everyday I know I don't comment back but I think of all of you.You all have been a inspiration to me.I really don't know where I'd be without this web site probably 6 feet under ground.Your all very special to me.Justin 2 years is coming up on March 21 I'm already having nightmares of that awful day.I just want to hug and kiss him and say I love you.Peace to all hope the weekend will be better for all of us.Peace,Vicki
Replies
It is cold for us here in NC...probably not as cold as everywhere else...but, cold for us. I understand trying to fill the huge void left by our children. We often think if I get this or that, then I will be happy again. But at our core...we know that no thing we buy will fill the huge hole left by our children. I just keep trying to talk things our, cry when I need to and try to look at each day as a day of possibilities. Keep trying...love to you...Karen
I am in Alabama right now & it is cold here too. Yes like Karen said it is very hard to fill that hug hole we have in our heart. Just keep taking one step at a time. I know sometimes we take one step froward we might move 2 or 3 steps backwards. Just keep trying and you will servive....Love & hugs, Connie
I\'m having the same problem with the \"retail therapy\" and it\'s not solving things, only making the checkbook look a little more in the red. Hoping things brighten up soon and your spirits lift. Thinking of you. Love Robin
Alot of us try to \"self-medicate\" to ease the pain. Whether it\'s spending, eating, drinking or whatever..we are trying to ease the pain. Or, maybe trying to feel something for a while. Right now, my way is eating and it\'s having the reverse effect. I see myself in the mirror and don\'t like what I see. Recognizing the problem is the first step. The second is deciding to do something about it. I hope we both reach that second step soon. *Hug* Adrianne