Same Again

Ivan says I always come back from my Arnie walk a different person. It's 20 minutes and I walk as fast as I can to get my heart pumping and my lungs gasping. I hope its doing me good! I hope my diet will stop the kilos going on and make way for a few to come off. Slowly, steadily, surely. My walk features a look out across the Manukau Harbour, lots of nice gardens and kauri trees-kauri are our biggest trees but mostly round here they're pretty young 150 years old...there's a track that we take through to the final part of our route. This track runs across the top of our section and meets the Eric leigh Hunt track (you can imagine why he uses his middle name!) just a small way along the road. So our walk is in 3 sections. The ELH Track is very steep. Ive only done the reverse circuit once-its definitely for a day when I'm feeling uppish.
I have 20 minutes to go before we have to leave. I am glad to be rebellious and obedient at the same time. I appreciate the opportunity to do some writing-nevermind how repetitive and tedious to read it may be. Number one for the pleasure of writing. Number two to see how it affects the (not "my") depression, number three experiencing the discipline, number four sharing myself with anyone who cares to read....
I am obedient to Koon and my higher self and rebellious? No I am not rebellious except in rejecting the tag! I'd like to be in some ways....counterculture maybe...but getting pissed and promiscuous isn't being a free thinker-its being enslaved by the booze. A state I courted and not one I fought.
I am enjoying doing the online crossword at night. I enjoy slipping into bed with the electric blanket on just a bit. I enjoy a coffee along K Rd. I enjoy my job and watching the time go by quicker than you might suppose. I enjoy walking down Queen St to my train. I really enjoy the train trip home and Ivan and Arnie meeting me.
But each day is so similar to the one before and after-what can I do to inject some variety?
Going to see my key Worker tomorrow. have some questions re olanzapine as weight gaining med, if 3 mood stabilisers without anti d can make depressions worse.
Got to go!
Have a good day, all.