Sadness today
I am feeling down today. My poor Roomie can barely move and I feel an obligation to take care of him. He smokes and he drinks and Ive tried helping him by encouraging him to quit. But, it worrys me. It makes me feel guilty being there because there is no romantic love there but more so I see my father in him and feel the need to help. I don't know if this is a good quality or a bad-it seems I'm always taking care of men. Why does it feel so selfish to actually care about our own wellbeing?
Trying to stay away from the watering hole. It is so easy to go there and feel accepted.
Replies
The extent to which I don't get the feminine martyr gig has been used as evidence that I am eligible for a letter in the sex sandwich club. I didn't bother to retain which letter I am eligible for. I can never keep the sexy acronyms straight, but they always make me hungry for a BLT sandwich.
I don't understand why Jane Q. Average is so obsessed with men, either. I'm hoping you'll explain ^it^ to me. Just hoping. . . Maybe. For my own strictly personals, I'm not sure the mystery is worth solving. Not even *I* get *all* the problems. Not my monkey. Not my circus.
Gentle encouragement to stay away from the watering hole. It's a pretty low bar to be accepted by. Pun intended.
I think women have a gene that tells them to take care of others and heal them....It could be because they bear children. When I was in the hospital, I always wanted women nurses to take care of me because I didn't think male nurses were as compassionate.
I have a neighbor who is an alcoholic. Years ago, I use to try to get him to stop, for the sake of his wife....but all that did is drag me down and make me depressed. Nowadays, I love myself too much to lower myself to his level so if he chooses to drink, I just leave and find something else to do that more constructive.
I don't know why I even bothered to try to help him. I watched my mother commit a slow suicide with the bottle and there was nothing I could do to stop her .....and I tried everything. It took me 30 years to learn how to let go of all the guilt I was holding on to. I don't do that anymore now. If someone wants to drink, then so be it. It's their decision to make not mine but if they reach a point where they ask for help then I always take them to the nearest AA meeting..
God Bless
Arfie, im not so much obsessed with men. I want to get to a place where i have my own space and time. Many times my "caring" has got me nothing...why im in the shape im in.
caretaking is a thankless job. don't do it. take care of yourself. let the people around you grow up and take care of themselves.